by Bob Totterer

Created on: December 17, 2008

Customer Service: corporations, chain stores, restaurants, even government agencies (no kidding!) grapple with this issue. Polite and helpful employees used to be taken for granted, but since the "Me Generation" entered the work force, it has to be taught. So millions of dollars and thousands of seminars later, we have a cottage industry for public speakers and facilitators.

Let's cut through the nonsense. Customer service is all about caring and communication. The customer already cares, that's why he's stalking the aisles looking for someone in a smock. He's engaged; he's motivated. If he's lucky, he'll find that one employee who at least cares enough to not get fired. When they make contact, that's where communication comes in. Good luck with that.

Shelf-stockers can only tell you which aisle to find something in. They have no clue about the product's operation, the warranty, or anything else. So I'll make this really simple: if you are frustrated or dissatisfied, never get into a deep conversation with someone who wears his name on his shirt. He can't help you if your problem demands intuitive thought or lies outside the covers of the employee's manual. Don't believe me? See if this sounds familiar:

You are standing at the courtesy counter, trying in vain to convince the adolescent across from you that your complaint is legitimate. "But I bought it right here, just one hour ago. See? Here's the receipt!" "Well," he says, "we're not allowed to do thus and so. You'll have to stand in the such and such line and do this and that."

Oooooooo, you could just scream. Perhaps you do scream. In any case, if you're like most people, you'll make the ill-fated mistake of trying to reason with someone who is dead from the neck up. Hey, don't waste your spit. And don't threaten to take your business elsewhere, because he really wishes you would right about now. Entry-level employees are powerless to help you in a situation that requires discretion, since all they can do is quote policy. Arguing with him would only raise your blood pressure and make him more obstinate.

Instead, flag down that guy with the baggy white shirt and the crazy comb-over ... yeah, him. Even before you read his name tag you know he's the manager because he's the only one that's breaking a sweat. A blind man could identify him by the sound of that hog's ring of keys slapping his leg. Ah! Here's a guy that can really help. And he'll help you even if your request violates company policy. Do you know why?

It's not that he's "customer service-oriented", he's just tired. Look at his feet. He's wearing twelve-dollar loafers with the heels worn down. They got that way from running after price checks and liquid cleanups. He'll push Junior out of the way in a heartbeat and jam the magic key into the register. Cha-ching! There now ... wasn't that easy? Another satisfied customer.

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