by Kimberly Joseph

Created on: December 16, 2008

Relationships; Is trust and suspicion ruining your relationship

If you have ever been told that your significant other was out doing bad things with some other person you know exactly what this article is addressing. The suspicion that your "baby" is out screwing up everything that you have worked so hard to build. The anger and mistrust that follows just tears you up inside until you are sitting in a corner, crying or so mad at the other person that you start raging at your partner as soon as he walks in the door.

In any relationship the first step and the most important is to build up that trust. If its not there you may as well give it up because you are always going to wonder what they are doing when they aren't around. If that trust is lost many times, it is so hard to build it back because of the hurt and feelings involved with the whole loss in the first place. Many couples find that when a partner cheats that they begin to be suspicious of everything that the person is doing.

How many times, even if your partner doesn't cheat do you find yourself looking through his phone to see who he called, who called him, and checking those text messages.

After awhile you begin to see a pattern, all the calls are beginning to be deleted off the phone, text messages that show on the bill aren't on the phone, weird numbers show up in the phone book. "What exactly is going on?" After a while you confront your partner and he gets angry and says he didn't cheat and if you blame him again he will leave you and find another girl. Then you feel more like he is cheating on you so you continue to do your secret espionage and hope that you will find enough evidence that he is cheating.

Pretty soon you realize that you have grown so suspicious of his every action that you are angry and wish that you didn't have the feelings that you do. You feel like because you choose to stay with him that you are inadequate, you can't find someone that doesn't cheat.

In your head, the logical side says find evidence. In your heart you feel it breaking into a million tiny pieces. Your feelings begin to undermine the feelings of love that used to blossom in your heart each time your partner called, or showed up. You begin to do things that irritate the other person and soon you are fighting everyday, just because you let suspicion of infidelity in. Pretty soon you break-up and after some time you realize that your suspicion made having a functional relationship impossible.

So, yes, find your proof if you truly believe that your "other" is "creepin". But don't let it ruin who you are in the process. Make your relationship strong. Nurture it, because if you treat it with love, and acceptance then your relationship will not suffer because you have doubts, and suspicion. You will grow to know your partner better, to know that he isn't out there messing around on you. Just because he isn't around doesn't mean he isn't thinking about you.

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