by Charlise Powvalla

Created on: December 16, 2008

I have a dirty, sordid history when it comes to Christmas tree disposal. I've disposed of my Christmas tree in numerous different ways, some of which I'm not proud and would, frankly, rather forget altogether. Hopefully, however, my story will be of some benefit for someone out there like me- - someone who naively hopes their domestic fir will last forever, and forgets to make arrangements for the final days of a Christmas tree's life.

My siblings and I grew up in Oregon, and my parents used to have a Christmas tree lot in our backyard when we were young. My dad would lovingly hand-pick Douglas, Grand, and Noble Firs by the dozen, cart them home on dump truck, and prop them up on over sized sawhorses for our neighbors to peruse. My mom sold Christmas ornaments from the first floor of our house which we kids always knew as "the shop." My parents' hard work always resulted in a few hundred dollars to help pay for Christmas, and my siblings and I were treated to hours of fun playing hide-and-seek in the temporary forest in our backyard. When the holidays were over, to our horror and delight, each unsold tree would be tossed trunk-first into a wood chipper and decimated in a matter of seconds. Our own personal Christmas tree would be unceremoniously tossed from the second-floor window of our house and treated to the same ugly fate.

Years later when I was living in an apartment with the man who was to become my husband, we shared our first Christmas togetherand our first Christmas tree. When December came to an end, I realized that I had no idea how to dispose of a Christmas tree. January and February soon came to an end, and though our evergreen tree stayed true to its name, it was also becoming a fire hazard. My boyfriend was from India, so he had no clue how to dispose of his very first Christmas tree, and I found myself at a loss without a wood chipper of my own. Fortunately (or unfortunately) we did have a hatchet and a wood fireplace.

It is at this time that the disclaimer, "Don't try this at home," becomes a necessity. Not only did I spend two hours whacking away at my Christmas tree with a dull hatchet, feeling like the villain in a bad horror movie and dropping bucketfuls of needles down to my neighbor's balcony below, but I nearly set my house on fire trying to burn a bone-dry tree. What nobody tells you is that dry fir needles crackle and spark like a string of firecrackers on Independence Day, and if a stray twig or branch is lying outside the fireplace, it will instantly ignite and put your home at risk. I quickly gave up, and ended my day filling up our dumpster with five trash bags full of tree remains.

My new favorite way to dispose of our Christmas tree is to give it to our local Boy Scout troop for a donation of $5.00 so that they can take it away, put it in a proper wood chipper, and use the chips on the walking paths of our neighborhood park. The Boy Scouts have drop sites scattered around a city near you, and some troops even offer curbside service, an innovation for which my husband and I (and our dull hatchet) are eternally grateful.

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