by Priscilla Babiolakis

Created on: December 16, 2008   Last Updated: January 30, 2010

Modern marriage traditions can be traced back to ancient Roman times, and many remain with us today. From the ring on the third finger of the left hand symbolizing engagement to the traditional white bridal gown and veil, marriage in ancient Rome was an important part of society.

Roman marriage was monogamous and both parties were supposed to be citizens of the Empire. If not they needed permission to marry. June was the favoured month for wedding ceremonies. The bride was expected to be a virgin, and would be attended by bridesmaids.

Upon completion of a year or more of military service, privileged young Roman men usually married in their mid twenties. Woman on the other hand married much younger. Sometimes as young as 12 although usually at 14 they were considered ready for marriage. The family kept their daughters in the home teaching them the necessary domestic skills. It was imperative that the girls kept their virginity. Virginity was a prerequisite for marriage.

Finding a suitable marriage partner required careful planning. In the patriarchal Roman society fathers chose the husband for their daughters, and set the size of the dowry. A suitable match was expensive. The groom's age was not taken into consideration; he could be as young as her brother or as old as her grandfather. What was important was his social and political standing. Consequently, it was not uncommon for a bride's father's desire to enhance his family's social status to overrule his daughter's personal happiness.

The crux of the dowry was usually how much land would be given and the number of slaves. Personal items such as jewellery, clothing and toiletries remained the property of the bride. Should the bride die early in the marriage, her personal effects were buried with her.

In the case of a divorce, the dowry would be returned to the wife or her family, to assist with her chances or remarriage and to maintain the family resources. However, the fate of the dowry depended entirely on its original source and the circumstances leading to the divorce.

Daughters of extremely wealthy families had little or no say in their choice of future spouses. However women did manage to gain associative power, derived from their husbands position within the community, during some point in their lives.

Every detail was carefully worked out to coincide with religious considerations, to avoid days that might bring bad omens. Gifts were exchanged, very much in the same way as modern day weddings.

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