by Carmella Mae

Created on: December 16, 2008

Is bipolar disorder an illness or an excuse? As a sufferer of bipolar myself, I have to say that is the stupidest question I have ever heard in my life!

Have you ever battled depression so bad that you could not even think? Or how about been so sad, that you could not stop crying your eyes out? Or felt as though the whole world was against you, and out to get you? For some people these are every day occurrence! For myself, it is not an every day thing, but it happens often, and is bad enough to make every day tasks a bit hard to accomplish. To think someone would even consider I am making an excuse, is just outrageous.

What would anyone be making an excuse for, being sad? Or maybe for not being able to function in public because there are too many people? Those of us who suffer from bipolar do NOT enjoy what we go through by no means, in fact it is just the opposite. Bipolar individuals are always looking over their shoulder to see who is going to hurt them. They won't answer the phone because they are afraid someone on the other end may say something that will start the tears flowing. Or maybe they cannot drive a car, or have a fear of being in a car at all. Maybe we are making an excuse for crying with such force that our heads our ready to explode when we finally stop crying. Oh, and why were we crying so uncontrollably? Who knows! We sure don't!

There is no rhyme or reason to bipolar disorder. One day your happy and feeling great, the next day your so sad, and depressed, you feel as though your best friend just died, and even though it is not true, you cannot fight off the horrid feelings of despair, and pain, and uncontrollable tears.

It's bad enough for the person dealing with these disorders, but what about those around us? What are we doing to them? This has got to be the saddest part of all this for me. What my problems are doing to my family is the saddest part for me! I try so hard to be calm, not get upset about things, but no matter how hard I try, I stumble, and I fall flat on my face! To have to defend my bipolar to anyone as not being an excuse, that is just so unfair to anyone who is bipolar!

There are days when I can do anything, and there are days when I cannot even get out of bed. I do get out of bed of course, but it is hard, and it is painful, and the days I deal with this pain seem to go on forever. The fight that goes on inside the mind of someone with bi-polar, or depression is a hard one that no one can possibly understand, unless they too go through it.

The most important thing to remember is that someone afflicted with depression or bi-polar disorder, is that they are hurting probably as much as you are over how their illness is affecting you, but they are in no way making excuses for their illness. It truly is an illness, not an excuse! Try to understand them, and have compassion for them, because they are locked away inside their minds, and cannot stop what they do. I know for myself, I fight a battle every day over how I am affecting my family. I know though, that my family loves me, they understand me, and they will never leave me, or ridicule me for how I am, please do the same for those around you that are affected by this terrible illness, you never know when something may go wrong in your life, and you too could be suffering from some sort of depression, and someone may look at you and say, "it's just an excuse"!

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