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Empty bed syndrome: Coping with the absence of a lover

by Kate Johns

Created on: December 16, 2008   Last Updated: January 11, 2009

Coping with the abscence of a lover is a very difficult thing to do. You are alone again. Worse yet, you are dealing with sleeping in a big, empty, cold bed by yourself. There is noone to cuddle up to. There is no one to have sex with before going to sleep. You are utterly alone, and life suddenly becomes kind of depressing.

Life doesn't have to be that way. Sleeping without your lover due to a breakup, different work schedules, or because he is on a business trip, doesn't have to be a terrible drama. Coping with the absecne of a lover affords you the wonderful opportunity for FREEDOM!

Yes, wonderful, fun refreshing, relaxing, selfish, freedom. It is time to look on the bright side of life! This is your time to do whatever you want. You can take up the entire bed. or leave the light on. You can take a long hot, steamy bath alone for as long as you selfishly want.

Just what does a person do to get used to sleeping alone again?

HAVE SOME FUN

When you are coping with the abscence of a lover it is time to work out the feelings you are having. Crank up the music as loud as you want and dance around the house. Get jiggy with it! Have some fun. Go out with your friends and let off some steam. Basically you will want to do things you could not do when your lover was with you. This could be anything such as watching a favorite television program. Maybe you want to watch an old movie. Maybe you want to watch a movie that you like, and he didn't in bed, alone while munching on your favorite food.

FREEDOM TIME

Now that you are sleeping alone, you can do whatever you want. You can go to bed when you want. You can lie in bed and stretch out. You don't have to lie all the way over at the very end of the bed, almost falling off. You can leave the light on all night. You can watch television and read in bed. You can watch DVD's in bed, and watch what you want. You can wear flannel pj's and not care what you look like when you go to bed. You can crank the heat up or you can leave the window open and not have to listen to someone else complain anymore.

RELAXATION TIME

Make this sleeping alone time a great time. Learn to love sleeping alone. Take a hot, soothing relaxing bath before bedtime, and use a sex toy for utter relaxation! Spray relaxing spray in the bedroom before going to bed, such as lavender or vanilla. Wear cologne that you love. Have a glass of wine while you relax in the bath and lounge for a while. Sleep with a cat or two or your buddy the dog. Cuddle a large, fluffy stuffed animal. Read a book every night to relax and to fall asleep. Run a humidifier that makes some noise to have that noise brought back of someone else breathing and snoring.

This sleeping alone thing can be a really great thing. Tell yourself positive ideas and things will get better. Eat in bed, wear whatever you want, or whatever you don't, snore super loud, and have a good time with it. This is your life, so why not enjoy this time alone? Besides you may find yourself living with someone who talks in his sleep, snores really loudly or grabs the blankets in the middle of the night leaving you super cold. Enjoy your time sleeping alone, you don't know how lucky you really are!

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