by D. Victor

Created on: December 15, 2008

Someone once complained to me that her friends never treated her as good friends should. Her friends always took her for granted and she felt under-appreciated. I understood that complaint. What I also understood was that the complainant was not a good friend either. Essentially, she was the kind of friend that she complained about!

Knowing how to be a good friend is important in ensuring that you do your part to keep a good friendship alive. Being a good friend is not just about liking your other friends a lot and talking with them every other day. It's about being a positive influence in your friend's life and fulfilling your friend-role properly. Being a good friend may even require tough love. You can become a good friend to others if you develop certain qualities or habits.

Being appreciative

No one likes to be taken for granted. It is better to demonstrate appreciation through a combination of words and actions. You will surely let your friend know that he or she matters a lot to you.

Supportive

Friendship is sometimes defined as a mutually supportive relationship. To be a good friend, you have to be there in the good times and bad. If your friend is down, you must be willing and able to lift them up and ensure that they continue on. If your friend has dreams or ambitions; choose not to ridicule, but encourage instead.

Forgiving

Conflicts are inevitable, even in the context of a good friendship. Fair-weather friends disappear when things aren't going well or at the slightest turn-off. A good friend will attempt to understand the frailties of the other and be able to forgive his or her transgressions; if not necessarily forget them.

Accepting

A good friend would not be judgmental or impatient with friends. You would expect them to accept your personality and not attempt to shape or manipulate you. A good friend would not necessarily encourage you to do something that you prefer not to do.

Sincere

Sincerity is a necessary prerequisite for the status of "good friend". Your friend would be honest and unpretentious, especially about grievances. A good friend also has a genuine interest in the welfare of other people. If you did not do something right, your good friend will tactfully address that. If all is not well between you, a sincere friend will attempt to address or resolve the issue instead of pretending that all is well on the front.

Reciprocal behaviour is the premise of many social interactions. Being a good friend does not suggest that your friends would return the favour. You may surely do your chances of attracting good friends no harm however. Developing the qualities or habits that characterise friendship and just being a good person generally is critical. That is what will separate a good acquaintance from a good friend.

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