I recently read "Submission is Not a Foul Word" written by Candace Cameron Bure written for her monthly column "Candid Candace" for "Christian Women Online". She is a talented writer who defends her beliefs well and answers the reader's question gently and directly. She backs up her answer with passages from the bible yet I disagree with the advice she gave based on her interpretation of how to be a "godly wife". (Click on the above link to read Candace's complete article.) Having been raised a Roman Catholic who attended Catholic high school, I spent two years studying the old and new testaments, one year studying church history and the final year tying three years learning to our everyday lives.
I agree with Candace that despite what society dictates, men and women were created equal but different. I do not agree that successful marriages come about from the wife submitting to him as the head of the household or the authority figure. This implies that the husband has authority over the wife as well and that thought does not sit well with me. I also do not believe that that is what God intended. In Genesis, God created Eve from Adam not as a sign of his dominance over her, but to represent that they are two parts of a whole, and created in the image of God. Many Christian ceremonies today have incorporated the lighting of a Unity candle, where the bride and groom light a stick from two separate, identical candles and simultaneously light a single, larger candle. This symbolizes two halves coming together as a whole. Two souls becoming one.
The theory of submission goes against that basic concept by implying that the whole is created by a greater then half joining a less then half. If the wife was created to be a helpmeet for the husband, then the family structure becomes a hierarchy with the husband on top as the final authority followed by the wife then children. He has the power to override her decisions or impose his will if he feels it is in her best interest. Candace mentioned that her husband "doesn't take advantage of me, but rather gains respect for me, and chooses to love and honor me as I do him". The key word in the statement is that he CHOOSES to treat her the way she treats him. What would she do if he didn't choose to? Would she tolerate boorish behavior because her interpretation of the bible teaches her to submit herself to her husband, the authority figure? Or would she stand up for herself and demand to be treated with equal respect. She refers
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