by Christine Nehr

Created on: December 15, 2008

I was indecisive about abortion for years. But now my close friend is pregnant. 9 weeks, that is. It was not plannned by any means, and she is not in the position to raise another child. She has a youngster whom she adores to pieces. But they struggle to stay afloat everyday. She barely clings onto a "job" and the doctor says it is slightly risky to carry a child with the medical issues she's had in the past. They don't have a permanent place to stay, nor does she have a husband or boyfriend. Just a casual encounter with a 'friend'. She is in her 30's, and smart enough to know the difference between right and wrong. Has she made her decision? No, she will not make that decision until she walks into that clinic for the procedure. She was embarrassed and shameful to be there for her initial visit; it took her 4 phone calls to actually brave up and make the appointment. She was scared when she found out that protesters march outside the fenced facility, but the receptionist told her to wear a hood on her head, dark sunglasses, and roll the windows up, turn to radio up high, and just face foward to dodge the pro-life activists's hateful and hurtful comments. But I'll tell you, I went with her, and some of the women who sat in the waiting room disgusted me with their giggling, joking around, and lack of seriousness. Most were young, even early teens with their parents. Some sat quiet, like my friend, and kept to themselves, but there were certain people that just made this grueling trip (according to us) heart wrenching.

The level of privacy was as good as stale bread, but there were so many women there, so how could you be 100% private? The staff was very understanding, to her surprise. They didn't judge her, they didn't pass her along to the next staff member like an item on an assembly line. They discussed all of her options like a real human being, they guided her to make the right choices for herself, not someone else. These are real women who are there for you when no one else will listen. The eye contact, professionalism, and support was what she needed, since only a handful of our friends could give her half of that. And for some reason, she said she felt comfortable crying about what she experienced in the past, what was going through her head at that very moment. She didn't feel "safe" until she told her mother. Granted, she's 30-something and can make her own decisions, but if she didn't get her mother's approval, then she wouldn't even think about going forward with it. But she got her approval. She wasn't "all for it" either way, but she gave her understanding and support like no other. This is coming from a woman who barely cursed or sinned in her life.

I hope the guidance of peers, parents, and professionals will help her through this as well as other uncertain mothers-to-be feel more comfortable in making the right decision for themselves.

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