by Mj Ferruzza

Created on: December 14, 2008

The Exchange Line
(An homage to Monty Python)

Scene: A Man steps up to the Exchange Counter located on the bottom floor of a Men's Clothing Store.

Salesman: Well! Out and about after that lingering hangover from some Boxing Day celebration I imagine?

Customer: What? What was that?

Salesman: Good morning!

Customer: Oh! Good morning!

Salesman: Good morning, Sir! Are you lost, looking for the WC or just here for an exchange?

Customer: Well to be perfectly honest, I would like to return a couple of items. This tartan blazer and this cashmere plum scarf!

Salesman: Very good, Sir! Do you have a receipt?

Customer: Why no! These items were Christmas presents that were purchased at this store and I would like to return them.

Salesman: I'm afraid that I will need a receipt.

Customer: Well! I don't have any receipt because they were gifts, but they were purchased at this store and I am sure...

Salesman: No receipt, eh?

Customer: Why no! But I am sure that you have some sort of record of the purchase if I give you the name of the purchaser!

Salesman: Oh... right... the name of the purchaser!

Customer: Yes! Her name was Alice...

Salesman: In Wonderland, was it?

Customer: I beg pardon?

Salesman: Alice in Wonderland, perhaps?

Customer: No! Alice Crumpler. She is my sister-in-law!

Salesman: I am sure she is. But I can not accept any merchandise without a receipt!

Customer: But, as I was saying before, these were gifts and there was no receipt in the box!

Salesman: Then we have reached a conundrum!

Customer: A what?

Salesman: A conundrum, Sir! Our store policy specifically states that anyone wishing to make an exchange must have a receipt.

Customer: And as I said earlier... Wouldn't your department have some sort of record of purchases made through a data base? Perhaps a computer file of the sales transaction collected through a bar code?

Salesman: A Computer file?

Customer: You do use computers here, don't you?

Salesman: I believe we do. There was a large stack of empty boxes by the back gate when I started here. They were next to a pile Abaci!

Customer: Abaci?

Salesman: Plural of abacus... a rudimentary calculating machine from the Middle Ages.

Customer: You mean Summaria around 2500 years ago!

Salesman: Well if you knew all that why did you ask?

Customer: What I am asking is for a return of these items.

Salesman: What's wrong with them?

Customer: Oh, then you will take them back?

Salesman: No! I am just asking what is the problem with the said items that I may or may not determine to be returnable?

Customer:

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