by Amanda R. Dollak

Created on: December 14, 2008

Most parents realize early on that children need a structured, safe, and loving environment to grow to be confident, well-rounded adults. However, what constitutes such an environment varies vastly from parent to parent. Probably one of the most controversial issues of parenting is chores. When should parents begin assigning chores? What types of chores should parents expect their children to complete? And how many and how often should these chores be assigned?

All of these questions can be quite difficult for parents since what we do today with our children can carry life-long consequences. Habits, perceptions of oneself, and expectations of others are merely a handful of things that children begin developing from birth, which they carry with them into adulthood. Consequently, parents should always keep this in mind when making any parenting decisions, even with a minor issue such as chores.

Overall, chores can be a rewarding, confidence-building experience for toddlers if parents approach this matter with an open mind and flexibility. At this stage, children are eager to please their parents and copy the behavior of those individuals they look up to the most. Toddlers often find whatever Mommy or Daddy is doing to be interesting, exciting, and fun and are willing to join in to help. Every parent should encourage this eagerness and allow their children to help out whenever possible, even if their task is as simple as holding the grocery list while shopping or "delivering" the paper to Daddy every morning. Even the smallest of tasks, followed by fitting praise and reward, give toddlers a sense of purpose and accomplishment, while teaching them the early stages of responsibility and hard work.

On the other hand, though, parents must recognize that their toddlers have limitations since they are so young and still growing physically, mentally, and emotionally. Therefore, parents should constantly reassess their expectations of their children and remind themselves that at this stage, the quality of their children's efforts to complete a chore is not important. Rather, it is their children's effort itself that should be focused on and reinforced. Also, parents must realize that toddlers can grow discouraged and frustrated when attempting new or challenging tasks. As a result, parents should choose chores that are simple and familiar as tasks for their toddlers to attempt largely on their own (i.e., putting their dirty laundry in the hamper or placing all the bath toys

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