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Humor: Exercise

by Ryszard Krasowski

Created on: December 14, 2008

IF I CAN DO IT...

One, two, three, four - stretch out your hands!
One, two, three, four - lift up the right leg!
One, two, three, four - bend forward!
One, two, three, four...

Every morning, standing in the middle of our kitchen, four of us: my father and my two brothers, welcomed a new day with some exercise. It was a combination of something enjoyable with something useful; we enjoyed our company and we made our blood circulate vividly.

It was a long time ago. Now I am an adult and I am in a good shape, slim, not to say skinny. My body doesn't require any special treatment. I eat what I want; the calories and then the fat don't like me. My genetic machine works properly and burns out everything that may cause a seizure of its cogwheels. So, I don't do the jogging, I don't attend various health clubs and I don't spend money on a sophisticated equipment. But it doesn't mean that I don't exercise. If I don't even feel like doing it, I have to. I stretch out, I lift up, I bend forward and I make fifteen, twenty miles a day. What's more I am paid for all these exercises. People who are so generous in helping me to keep my body in a good shape don't realize what a great favor they are doing to me. Watching my bustling around, they ask themselves: "How is it possible that he eats so many things which contain fat, calories, and cholesterol, things that we can't even think of, and he doesn't gain weight?"

And I watch them too. I watch their struggle to loose weight, to get rid of the excess of the fat, to pump their bodies with muscles and I know that they are doing it the wrong way - they are too busy thinking about their appearance. Even if they go jogging, they don't forget to check a reflection in the mirror: "Am I looking all right? Maybe I should change the shorts, the color is too bright. And the sneakers don't go well with the T-shirt!"

After four or five miles, if a body builder was able to make such a distance, the wet, sweaty and smelly accessories of a sport's achievement mark the way to the shower, making an obstacle race for somebody who will always pick them up. And then it is my turn to do some exercise. I crouch, I stretch my arms, I lift up, I bend forward... Sometimes when I want to make my exercise more interesting I whistle or sing one of my favorite melodies.

There was a movie about a cotton plantation that I saw a long time ago. Men and women who worked on the field were singing while picking up the white down. I liked their way of doing that and I liked

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