by Brigid Kowalczyk

Created on: December 13, 2008

My first child was born when I was 33, so I'd been around pregnant and nursing friends for a while before I began the same adventure. Many of my friends had home births, they all nursed and I even had one acquaintance who nursed her two year old. I didn't think much about the whole process, I didn't worry or prepare.

After he was born (c-section, 9 lb, 1 oz) he nursed just fine. The only problems I had were the middle of the night feedings! I really wasn't enamored with sitting up in a rocking chair while he nursed every couple of hours. During the day we used to spend our time in the recliner and he liked to nurse frequently, so he kept that pattern up all night long, too.

When he was about 6 weeks old, I read a book, "Breastfeeding And Natural Child Spacing: How "Ecological" Breastfeeding Spaces Babies" by Sheila Kippley. There are a lot of great ideas in this book but the one that stood out for me and reshaped my life was the suggestion to take the baby to bed with you! Wow! Now that idea had not occurred to me on my own but it is a well-known practice, usually called "Family Bed." That very night he was in my bed and stayed there for a couple of years.

Immediately, I got more rest and had more fun in the middle of the night. My friends complained about their sleepless nights with their infants but I just breezed through. After about a year, I'd start him to sleep in his own twin bed and when he woke during the night he could come to our bed. It was a win win situation. And I continued it throughout two more pregnancies and births. As the title of the book suggests, my babies were spaced out by the extended breastfeeding and were not very close together.

The more militant aspect to my breastfeeding career, if this wasn't militant enough (most of my friends thought it was) is that I loved it so much and hated to disappoint my children that I kept it up throughout the ensuing pregnancies and then tandem nursed afterwards. My oldest son and my daughter nursed until they were 4 years and 3 months old each, and my youngest son was gently assisted into quitting at 3 years and 9 month. The children are 2 years and 8 months apart and 3 years and 3 months apart. I don't have many friends who nursed as long as I did.

My priorities as a mother were first of all to get enough sleep, secondly to keep the child content and at peace, and third to enjoy my time with them. I truly believe that tandem nursing also assisted them in learning how to share and include the new baby into the family pretty quickly. The older child certainly knew what s/he liked about nursing so s/he could see that it was a nice thing to do for the next baby.

I used to say about my approach to parenting that I was spending my time and effort on their younger years so that they would not need therapists and dieticians and other interventions later on. They never had a pacifier or a "blankey" they just had me! Fortunately, the three of them are wonderful well-adjusted sane and semi-countercultural adults now. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

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