by Carolyn Tytler

Created on: December 13, 2008

A sense of responsibility is something most people acquire in the process of growing up. Wise parents use guidelines, setting the child up for success, as he takes those first, hesitant steps towards becoming responsible for himself.

Do you remember the first time you were allowed to go to the corner store alone, or the first time you walked home from school by yourself? Those seemed like huge accomplishments at the time, but in reality they were small but important steps on the journey to self-sufficiency.

Most parents will proceed to build on previous experiences, and challenge the child to accept ever-increasing responsibilities until the late teenage years when he should be almost ready to live independently.

Semesters away from home at college or university will often bridge the gap from the safety of the parental nest to adult life when one is totally responsible for oneself.

Often, there will be slip-ups along the way. Because of a job loss, a marriage breakup, a mental or physical illness, addiction issues, or having to serve a prison sentence, an adult may find himself in a position of having to start over, to begin again to assume personal responsibility for himself and his affairs.

Where should he start?

His first priority is to find a means of self-support. He needs to go job-hunting. He'll need a satisfactory living wage, but he shouldn't expect to start at the top of his field.

He should plan to spend at least six months learning the ropes: the routine, procedures and staff at his new place of business. Assuming as little stress as possible from the work environment should be the objective at present. Promotions can come later.

He'll need a place to stay while he's becoming reestablished. If family or friends can fulfill this need temporarily, he should plan to show his gratitude with a generous gift to them once he becomes independent again.

Apartment-hunting will be next on the agenda. Nothing elaborate should be chosen at this time. A few basic pieces of furniture: table, chair, fridge, bed, TV, will suffice until he has the means and the time to choose pieces he'll want to live with for the long term. Right now, the name of the game is survival.

To progress down the path to self-sufficiency, he'll need to stay healthy. He should stock the fridge and cupboards with nourishing food: fruit, vegetables, juices, milk and dairy products, nuts, tins of fish, peanut butter and whole grain bread. Junk food is not a necessity.

The following six months to a year

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