by Elaine Sihera

Created on: December 13, 2008

Do online relationships last?

Q. If your relationship/marriage was made online, there's a one in three chance that you will be sitting in front of a marriage counsellor, say experts. Psychiatrists have recorded an increase in the number of couples, who met in cyber space, seeking counselling. Online profiles and personalities often mask the person's real identity, which seems to be the main reason for the breakdown of relationships. Experts say that people who interact over the net normally have a very independent way of thinking and cannot, at times, shoulder the responsibilities that come with relationships. Your opinion on this?

A. There is no reason why online relationships should not last. Meeting someone online is just one other optional way of finding a partner: like going to the pub, to clubs, to church or wherever we feel comfortable to make ourselves visible. The reason why there is so much distrust around it is that, like anything new, until people are familiar with it, they really feel good about it and until they can see the benefits for themselves, they will always be sceptical. Then there is the fear factor that it might not work and something might go horribly wrong. But that is life: good and bad, pleasure and pain, we have to accept it. Another thing is that people expect to immediately like everyone they meet on the Internet because of the ease of coming together. But liking a profile and picture does not mean liking the person in reality. That takes time to evolve and depends heavily on mutual chemistry

Personally, I have heard of many people finding happiness online and settling down and getting married. That does not surprise me because the only uncomfortable part about online dating are those first awkward moments before the couple actually meet. But once they meet and get to know each other, it is like any other form of dating. Nothing is different. Yes, people's identity and intentions are often masked, but those are the kind of people who would have been crap at a relationship anyway in person, and so the Internet comes in handy to behave badly. Most people on the net are 'normal' people, seeking happiness and friendship, hoping to meet others of similar motives. It can be painful for them when they meet someone who perhaps isn't that sincere. But, like everything else, we have to learn in life and soon one begins to know the time wasters and avoid them.

As a woman, I prefer the Internet for dating. I can do it from the privacy of my home

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>