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The difference between discipline and punishment

What is the difference between discipline and punishment? The simplest definition of 'discipline' is 'to teach a child what is the right or wrong path and to choose the right path without fear or coercion'. On the other hand, 'punishment' is 'inflicting pain or embarrassment, or taking away something pleasurable to enforce behavior that is acceptable by the majority'.

Many a time, punishment is chosen over discipline as adults tend to associate wrong choices with defiance, disobedience and strong will but rarely with ignorance, a different thought pattern or even misguided reaction.

Do we want our children to be disciplined or fear doing wrong because of punishment? Project a few years down the road when our children are adults in the working world. Do we want them to be disciplined or punished when they do something wrong at work? Many a time, they would be given the punishment rather than the nurturing training an employer should provide.

One might argue that some children just will not learn unless they are punished. We have to ask ourselves what it is that we want these children to learn. Do we want them to associate fear and pain with wrongdoing? We probably would prefer them to understand why a course of action should not be taken and learn to make the right choice when faced with a similar circumstance in future.

Again, others might argue that they have already given the repeat offender a second chance with a warning that punishment would follow a repeat offence. Once again, is a warning sufficient in disciplining a child? Does the child understand why the action should not be repeated, or is he really acting out in defiance or ignorance the second time around?

Children would normally want to do the right thing. Many a time, they would try to guess what it is that a beloved adult wants them to do. Many a time, you will see a child eagerly pushing his way through so that he could accomplish something for a favorite person but in the process of doing so, carelessly knocks down a treasured vase. Everyone forgets that the boy has intended to be the first to open the door to let his beloved aunt in and to help her with the luggage. Attention is diverted to the once priceless vase which in a moment of excitement which is interpreted as a moment of clumsiness, becomes a priceless heap of rubbish. Already flustered by the late announcement of her sister's sudden visit, the boy's mother vents her frustration sparked by the loss of a family heirloom on the bewildered


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