As we go through the chapters of our lives, the conditions and situations that make us happy change. Brief, temporary moments of happiness are experienced daily, but could better be described as mere shows of emotion. Overall, permanent, spiritual wellness and contentment could better be described as a realization that each person is part of the big picture; then, recognizing and fulfilling the small, but significant, role that is yours to play.
When we are toddlers, we cry one minute and laugh the next. Happiness is found in a clean diaper, a warm bottle of milk, and snuggling with a teddy bear (those very things may also make you happy when you're in your nineties). However, by the time we reach those irrational, tumultuous teenage years, happiness is generally related to self. Children learn from watching the adults in their lives. We are a "me, myself, and I" society measured by the tangible successes in our lives, standards set by God only knows who. Excessive time is spent trying to find ourselves by keeping up with everyone else who, unfortunately, probably don't have a clue who they are either because they are too busy trying to keep up with someone else. Nothing is lost; there is nothing to look for. Happiness is not something that can be found.
What moments will be recalled as one passes from life to death? The big house that brought only massive debt and stress, the new Jag (oh, by the way, which was totaled and the insurance companies are still arguing over), or the powerful promotion that only meant working seventy hours a week? Probably not, the moments that will be remembered will be the small acts of kindness that were performed from the heart, the trivial, seemingly insignificant words of encouragement, or maybe the old, monetarily worthless items that were kept in a box due to their sentimental value. Fault cannot be found in working hard to purchase a nice home, a new car, or whatever else that may suit one's fancy; however, too many people look to the physical and tangible for a feeling of achievement hoping it will finally lead to happiness. It's a disease; a disease that could easily be called, the "I'll be happy when" syndrome. No, happiness probably won't come when. . .whatever happens because something else will take its place. Remember, ten-minute happiness is an emotion.
Take into account these few sentences of advice; not that I'm so smart because I'm not, just old (not that old) but very observant. Trying to find happiness in the material world is delusional. Things are just things. We all have favorite things, the most precious to me would be worthless in other's eyes: an old money clip, a decorator egg my daughter made in school, my father's Army medals, just to name a few. The item itself is not so important; the value of the item is in the person the item represents. The connections we make like the time we helped someone else and expected nothing in return, or maybe the day we picked up the stray dog on the street and took it home, or the time when the neighbors house burned down and we spent the next week going through closets and gathering items from the neighbors to help; those are the things that connect us, that will fulfill us, and enable us to be a purposeful part of the big picture.
In conclusion, spiritual beliefs can play a lead role in the play of life. I chose not to address that here as religious people seem to be as miserable as non-religious people. We are all part of a spiritual, big picture whether we are consciously aware of it or not. The only way to be happy is to stop looking for it; again, it isn't something that can be found. Start with yourself, become an active part of the big picture, wake up every day and look for the good in people, don't worry about what everyone else has, make an effort to be tolerant, think before you speak, give assistance to at least one person a day, and do not judge others. One single person cannot cure all the ills of the world, but by making a contribution (even in a single way no matter how insignificant it seems) to the common good of all humanity, individual purpose will become evident and a sense of wholeness and spiritual well-being will be the result; one may call it happiness.
I will close with an excerpt from another article I wrote: "I am still trying to grasp a beginning with no ending. There is always a start and stop, a first, then last, birth, then death, isn't there? I can't imagine I have anything of consequence to offer. Each of us truly seems an immeasurable part of the whole picture, relatively unessential. Perhaps, one glance, one thought, one word, one movement, one selfless act (one, trivial to those of us with more than one of everything) carried out with grace and sincere intent has a more profound and extensive effect than one can imagine. On the other hand, what if one thing we do, one small dreadful action we make without thought, could tip the scales and cause turmoil for the angelic who bring balance to all things above and below?"