by Virginia L. Allen

Created on: December 12, 2008

It's only natural to want to be accepted by others. Peer pressure tends to play on that desire. Many of your peers no doubt, urge you to join them in unhealthy activities. Many of them have yielded to the same influences that they try to force on you. They want to be accepted too, so they allow others to shape what they believe. Do you find it extremely hard to stand up for what you know is right? Most teens do. There is hope though, the key is to see the pressure coming and decide in advance how you will handle it. Here are four steps to help you do just that.

1.) Anticipate.- Most of the time, you can see trouble coming from a distance. By anticipating the problem, you'll be ready to avoid the situation altogether or you'll be able to control it.

2.) Think.- Ask yourself how you will feel in the long run if you go along with the crowd. You may gain the temporary approval of your peers, but how will you feel later? Are you willing to sacrifice your standards to please your classmates? {A year after you leave school, few of your classmates will have any contact with you at all, they will barely remember you name. But your family and true friends will always 'have your back'}.

3.) Decide.- Decide what you will do in a 'peer pressure' situation right now!

4.) Act.- Since you've already thought about the consequences and made up your mind, stating where you stand on a matter will be easy. The key is to respond promptly and with full conviction. A simple but firm no will do just fine, or you may choose to say: "I don't do that sort of thing," "Count me out", or "You know me better than that"! You'll be surprised how quickly your peers will back off.

But what if they taunt you? What if they call you a 'chicken'? How can you respond? Here are three options:

* You could absorb the taunt. (You're right, I am scared"!) Then briefly state why.

* You could deflect the pressure by stating your stand on the matter, all the while not making an issue over it.

* You could return the pressure. State why you refuse and then appeal to your taunters intellect. ("I thought you were smarter than that")

If your peers continue to harass and taunt you: leave! The longer you stay, the worse the pressure will become. Even if you have to take this type of action, take heart, you took control of the situation and you didn't let your peers do your thinking for you. Don't let your peers make you their puppet. Stand up for your moral convictions. Realistically, you cannot hide from peer pressure. What you can do is; know you own mind, state your position, and take control! The choice is yours!

Reference work: "Questions, Young People Ask Answers That Work".

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