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making. We are not so powerful as to have created every good and bad thing in our lives. I chose Carter knowing of his medical issues. It does not mean, however, that in this choosing, I can make the problems go away. Many of us choose to take on difficulties for the good of loved ones, and not every unsolvable conundrum is forced upon us involuntarily.

When I find myself in the middle of a problem that I cannot get around, under, all the way through, or beyond, I find that the world has given me some good tools for simply getting by. These tools are exemplified in nature, and she unfolds them in front of our very eyes and ask only that we watch and learn. Perhaps the wind storm that overtakes me at any given time is the killing one that may eventually freeze me to death, but standing in it with my arms out and leaning into it really DOES make the cold seem more manageable.Try it.

We tend to think of the word "surrender" in negative terms-the white truce flag and such that culturally means we've lost-but surrender is life-giving and life-affirming. When faced with what is, there is nothing else we can sensibly do but surrender to it. I mean, what is, is, right? Surrender is really a very intelligent survival strategy, and if we survive, how can that mean we've lost? Surrender doesn't mean quit. It just means let go, or to stop resisting.

When I watch a raging Indiana storm from my back deck, I see that there are always breaks in the wind, even if they are brief. Nature assures me that, whether I believe it or not, there are always instants of respite in the storm. And while the center of the gale, I can choose to stand beside others like birds do, and we can tell goofy jokes to one another other while our teeth chatter, and laugh until our stomachs ache, and hold hands, and hug. We'll all last longer for it. Just ask a penguin. Sometimes, even though it is not to be expected, there is miracle and mystery at the heart of the killing storm, and we suddenly find ourselves being mysteriously directed to a shelter from the cold that never existed before that very moment.

My mother is one of the most blessed women I have ever known. Except for the death of my father after their long and happy marriage, she's skirted most of the tragedies common in a human life. Curiously, she is also one of the most fundamentally unsatisfied people I know. It's a mystery to me. She worries over me and my circumstances and says, "How are you doing these days, Honey, really?" She knows that finances are tough and my own health has been delicate for many years. She knows that the move to Indiana was stressful in body and soul to me even though I chose it and wanted it and it has been for the good. In the past, I would be telling her all the reasons why "bad" things were happening to me and overwhelming me. These days, In the midst of a new kind of Midwest winter, I say, "You know, Mom, it's really okay. It's just life stuff. Just life, you know?" And she says she knows.

The harshness of the winter journey suddenly becomes less so as I lean into it and understand that it is not the demon come to get me. It is life, just life, and she gives me the most curiously wrapped surprises at the most unexpected times. Best to keep may hands out and open, because you just never know.

Learn more about this author, Susan Chernak McElroy.
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