by Patrick Sills

Created on: December 11, 2008   Last Updated: November 10, 2011

HIV, or the Human Immunodeficiency Virus and AIDS, Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, have been with us now for nearly three decades. We have become all too familiar with the consequences of this horrible disease.

As HIV progresses to full-blown AIDS, a person's immune system deteriorates to a point where it can no longer resist opportunistic infections throughout the body, and eventually this leads to death. Thanks to a combination of drugs designed to retard the illness's effects, some patients can now live long, healthy lives, but there is still no cure or vaccine as of this writing. To conclude, this is not something you want to catch. We're not talking about the common cold here.

When this disease first came to public attention in the early 1980's, it was mistakenly believed by many to be exclusive to homosexual males who engaged in unprotected anal sex. We now know that while the former group makes up over 50 % of cases, any sexually active person can become infected, regardless of orientation or gender.

The virus can be transmitted through oral and vaginal contact as well. Another but less common way to contract HIV is through the use of shared needles among those who partake in IV drugs. Some hemophiliacs who received blood transfusions before 1985 also became infected. Since sexual contact is by far the most common way to contract HIV/AIDS, this poses a problem.

Sex is undoubtedly one of the most enjoyable activities we humans can engage in, and so ironically, the surest way to keep this disease at bay is to abstain. How can we do this? Well, we can either download or rent porn movies or pictures, buy adult magazines, or simply use our imaginations as we masturbate. We could also resist sexual urges altogether, but you'd be hard-pressed to find many people who would go along with that idea.

We can even go a step further and confidently hold HIV infection at bay by going to a strip club and buying a lap dance or two. Finally, there are inflatable dolls. There are even mannequins available that are nearly human in appearance.Unconventional? Unorthodox? Maybe, but it's inarguably safe.

Obviously, most of us will only settle for self-stimulation; by whatever means, for so long. There is nothing like the real thing, so to speak. Since this is the case, the use of latex condoms is the next-safest bet in holding HIV at bay. The virus cannot pass through latex when used properly.

While we're on the subject of "safe sex," I have chosen to go a bit against

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