by Marvin Double

Created on: December 09, 2008   Last Updated: November 18, 2010

What is divorce mediation?

Divorce mediation is an alternative to the often messy, painful and expensive process of fighting in court or through lawyers. Meditation uses negotiation instead of litigation to mutually work out the terms and conditions by which a marriage will be ended.

How does mediation work?

The divorcing couple agrees to use mediation instead of going to court. A mutually agreeable divorce mediator is found. Then the mediator sets up a series of meetings with both parties present, in which the principal issues are outlined and defined.

Once the essential information has been gathered and issues identified, the negation process begins. Both parties meet with the mediator in a series of meetings over a variable period of time, which will be determined by the number and complexity of issues to resolve.

The mediator is a neutral third party and does not act as a lawyer for either side. During the negotiation phase the mediator helps each party establish common points of agreement, resolve disagreements and reach compromises which may be needed to reach a settlement.

At the end of the negotiation phase a draft settlement agreement is created. Once the draft settlement agreement has been completed it is used to form the basis of the final agreement.

In completing a final agreement the parties have a chance to clarify each item and reword or refine language as needed. This part of the process ensures that the final settlement agreement fully reflects their intentions.

The final settlement is completed as well as the necessary documents required for the court to complete the divorce.

What are the advantages to Mediation vs Litigation?

Mediation is confidential and private. This allows a freer more open atmosphere which encourages the discussion of options and compromise.

Mediation is a person to person negotiation that does not require lawyers. In litigation however divorce lawyers represent clients in court. A lawyer's objective is to secure the best possible outcome for the client. This creates a win lose situation where even minor issues can become emotionally charged and complicated by legal arguments.

Mediation allows each individual to have direct input into the process and control over the outcome. With litigation each person becomes part of a more impersonal legal process with highly formalized rules and procedures.

Mediated divorce is especially useful when children are involved. The process of mediation by its nature, avoids subjecting them

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