by Ann Johnstone

Created on: December 09, 2008   Last Updated: April 01, 2012

Divorce mediation is an effective alternative to a straightforward divorce process that relies solely upon the state's divorce courts for relief ... a process that can be painful and stressful, creating even more barriers and a less productive resolution.

In divorce mediation, the focus is on moving forward and finding resolution, rather than assigning blame. It allows each party to maintain a greater level of control over his/her future and the future needs of any children involved. The adversarial aspect of court proceedings can be damaging to all parties concerned, and children in particular may suffer long-term effects of what can often prove to be a long drawn-out conflict. Mediation can make all the difference in recovering from divorce and moving on with life.

Mediation helps to avoid costly legal battles which often cause both parties to go into debt. It is ironic that, within marriage, money is often the number one cause of heated arguments, and when the marriage is dissolved, lawyers and court proceedings often tend to bleed both parties dry.

Mediation allows for creative solutions. Specialist family mediators are trained to encourage each party to come up with the best possible outcome. This is done through a process of identifying and clarifying matters of concern and areas of agreement and disagreement; reviewing the individual needs and resources of each family member; and developing plans which meet everyone's needs as fairly as possible.

The mediator can help to keep both parties on track, despite differences, strong emotions and communication difficulties. Even the environment in which a mediation occurs is far more conducive to agreement than that of the courtroom. The former encourages negotiation in a positive, encouraging atmosphere; the latter tends to induce further conflict as each party is represented by a legal professional in an adversarial context.

With the assistance of a family mediator, the parties are able to explore options in relation to resolving financial and parenting matters. These would include the division of assets and liabilities and the making of satisfactory long-term decisions about the welfare of any children involved, such as establishing co-operative parenting arrangements for the future and attending to financial support for the children.

In relation to contact and residence arrangements for children, mediation places great emphasis on the importance of a continuing relationship between child and parent. When

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