by Sammy Stein

Created on: December 09, 2008

Feminism conjurs up images of strong, forthright Matildas, burning bra in hand, marching down the streets in the male dominated cities demanding rights for women. However, feminism in its true sense is a far gentler thing and one which we should consider.

More than feminism we should look at the roles of different people in society. It is hard as a man when women demand from you respect simply for being women rather than for their hard work. If I make a comment such as, ' I like your dress', I get looks which could kill at 30 paces, when all I mean is that I like the dress. Yet, if I wear my shirt inside out or, as happened recently, when I took my jacket off and was discovered only to have ironed the normally visible part of my shirt, I get told by my female colleagues that I ought to take care of myself or they hitch up my collar to make me more presentable and I am supposed to accept this because women do this kind of thing. If I gave them the look they give me when I make a simple statement I would have no colleagues left.

I work with three women and two men. The women are all capable, one more than the others but when we have reviews I have to be so careful that any comments I make cannot be construed as against feminism or sexist, yet my female colleagues feel they can comment on my manners, my dress and my abilites freely.

I see everyone as equal, whether they are male or female and I definitely admire those women who manage to hold down a demanding career and run a household with a husband and kids. I am convinced that men are more lazy than women. This is proved when I listen to the fact that my very capable colleagues often go home after a day's work to cook, get children to activites and collect them again, read to their youngest, clean the home and then go and play tennis or to a keep fit class. Me and my male colleages tend to nip out for a drink of an evening and watch telly.

I also admire women because they can do many tasks at once. My close colleage can type, chat and be thinking about strategies for improvement all at once. Me, I can do one of these tasks well at a time but she does them all. I do not feel threatened by her, just in awe.

I have been aware sometimes that male colleagues have an annoying habit when it is coffee time of appealing to the caring side of the women we work with by making eyes at them and saying how thirsty they are. I introduced a rota to avoid this as I felt this was definitely flying in the face of any feminist ideas.

The word feminist is derogatory and I dislike it when people put down a women's success,or otherwise, due to their gender. It is simply different personalities and I know some of my male counterparts are lazy and less likely to succeed while my female colleagues will do better. Similarly, one or two of my female coleagues are less capable than some men - it all depends on an individual' s committment and abilities.

I think we should drop 'feminism' and 'women's lib' from our daily vocabulary and instead simply look at each other through the eyes of an equal colleague.

Actually, some women make me feel inferior, just like some men do. I know my faults and my female colleages know them too. We cover for each other and support each other equally and this works.

So, feminism be barred - we are all just people.

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