by Joyce Richie

Created on: December 09, 2008

I'm going to coin a new phrase here and now.You'll be the first to hear it and I invite you to jump on the bandwagon and use it freely.Are you ready? Here it goes...

"Stop making explanations!"

Extraordinary eh?Now let me ask you, how is that statement different from "stop making excuses!"? Is it the intent behind the statements that define them as an explanation or an excuse? Or is it the person on the receiving end of your excuse/explanation? A boss for example would be likely to say it's an excuse when you come meandering into work two hours late muttering that you're alarm didn't go off. When asked by your reverend why you weren't at services the previous Sunday you would explain that you were out of town on an errand. Or is that an excuse. In your mind it's an explanation...but in the reverend's, it may well have the stench of an excuse.

We are all aware of the classic, infamous excuses we've either used ourself or heard being gamely tried on a teacher or boss.

"my dog ate my homework"

"alarm didn't go off"

"he made me do it"

"traffic was terrible"

"I'm a man, I have needs damn it!"

Frankly, we just don't buy them, even when said by the smoothest charmer.

Would we have the same doubt when hearing;

" I had to visit someone in the hospital"

" The ATM machine ate my card"

" I had a sudden bout of raging diarrhea!"

Interesting hmmm? Personally, I would believe those Explanations and not consider them an Excuse(partially because of the yuck factor), unless they were told to me by someone that always had a reason ready for why they couldn't be somewhere or fulfill a commitment.Let's take television for example. On the news program you favor, when they're telling you an interstate is shut down in your city and to take an alternate route...would you bellow at the anchorman to "Stop making excuses!" I doubt it. Would that be because...

A) he can't hear you B) It's not his fault, he's just the messenger or C) who cares, it's not on my way to work!

I'm betting it would be a collaboration of at least A and B (maybe C) because he's just EXPLAINING the road is closed, not making an excuse. So it seems to me that what deems the difference of whether something is an excuse or an explanation, likely does simply rely on who's hearing it and where it's coming from.

So in essence, there is no excuse for people using excuses...but there just MAY be, an Explanation

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