by Joyce Richie

Created on: December 09, 2008   Last Updated: December 16, 2008

We like it hot, we like it fast, and baby we like it cheap!

No, you've not inadvertently started reading erotica, I'm talking about our beloved Mickey D's. That wonderful atmospheric place we rush our children through in the midst of a shopping spree...who has time to go home and cook? I'm a consumer, there are useless items to be bought!

Mickey D's, where a cracked-out looking clown with an afro is Buddha..but we forgive them that because they give our kids small, easily broken (and swallowed) toys FREE with their meal. Whoa! Can't beat that, I do love having clutter lying about!

Not to mention the speed these mothers must move at to serve us. I mean jeez...they can serve a family of four in about 45 seconds flat. I'm truly envious..in fact if all people could cook that fast, they just may cook for themselves!(Let's not mention how long the pre-made burgers had been setting in the warmer...or the employee that wiped his nose while handling your Big Mac).

I'm still hoping they'll bring back 49 cent double cheeseburger days so I can take a few hundred bucks and buy my family their food for 6 months ahead of time, just freeze 'em and heat 'em...yummy. Think of all the time I could save! Besides, my family deserves the very best greasy, manhandled food 49 cents can buy.

Now that I've soaked you with sarcasm, let's think about how we've allowed one of the most traditional things about family to slip through our fingers. We all saw it on television while growing up, so I know it MUST be true. The family dinner. Where dear dad sets at the head of the table and admires the scrumptious meal placed before him by his loving wife (who is outfitted even at this late hour in a crisp dress, high heels and fresh lipstick...what a classy lady!). Thoughtfully eating his meal while pondering some crisis his youngest rascal son is telling him about (Don't worry...the crisis is always solved within 30 minutes). Those people never unwrapped a quarter pounder while figuring out how to punish little Jimmy for breaking a window with a baseball!

Our modern families however rely more and more on strangers for preparing the very thing that sustains us. There are soccer games, PTA meetings,l aundry to be done...blah,blah and blah. Do we seriously want to let those women from the olden days show us up? They could pop out a dozen kids, feed them more than once daily AT HOME, keep the house clean, and still put a smile on their hubby's face at the end of the day. Why are we incapable of this? We're not a lazy people, we can work 80 hours or more a week, so lets spare a few for the people we love and cook them a frigging pork chop!

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