by Diane Soave

Created on: December 09, 2008

Starting my new life as an "empty nester" was an extremely rocky road at first. Not the delightful chocolate, nuts and fluffy marshmallow ice cream kind of rocky road, but more like the neck jerking, back breaking, gut dropping kind of rocky road. The kind of road the states refuse to fix with all that toll money they rake in.

The kids grew up and left home and I was surprised at how much I missed them. Where did the mess go? The empty soda cans in the bedroom, (pop cans if you are from the Midwest), the reminiscence of Cheeto crumbs stuck in between the love seat cushions and the endless loads of dirty laundry and dishes.

I longed to find a missing or unmatched sock after folding clothes and more importantly, I missed cramming their freshly cleaned clothes in overstuffed drawers.

So you're thinking, what's the big dilemma? I should be happy with this new found freedom. The problem is that I'm not sure what I am supposed to do now. The quiet clean house has turned into a museum, so light dusting is more than enough. My husband has high cholesterol, I have high blood pressure and we both need to lose 10 pounds, so cooking isn't
high on the list of things to do either.
Laundry has become minimal. Only a few small loads every couple days.
Nothing to even get worked up about.
My husband and I really like each other so there isn't anyone left to argue with. It's a ghost town around here. It's too Zen like. It reminds me of a library except without the crabby lady at the front desk telling everyone to be quiet over and over again.

One day as I was sulking and flipping through the television channels, I realized that Oprah, Ellen and Bonnie Hunt all made me feel alive again! They offered valuable information, entertainment and unconditional love. I guess a dog would have provided the same effect but I was against cleaning up dog poop and I could never master the pooper
scooper. Television became my life line. Most importantly, I was addicted to the DVR. I know your thinking that I was sitting on the couch, eating bon bons and watching TV all day, but this is simply not true. I was lying on my bed, eating a power bar (so I have enough energy to stay up all night and watch my shows) and watching TV but only after 6:00 p.m.
I have morals, you know.

It took me a good two years to get over the fact that the kids grew up and I would now have to develop my own identity. I broke my DVR
addiction cold turkey and gently informed Oprah, Ellen and Bonnie that I had to let them go. I've learned to love my free time and the fact that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I can honestly say that I am super excited when the kids come home to visit, but what a relief when it's time for them to go home! What a bunch of pigs! I'm so passed empty soda/pop cans on my streak free end table and Cheeto remains are not quite as exciting!

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