intimacy).
Most relationships begin with a heavy emphasis on passion. Lustful sex makes us feel oh-so-good and even close to a person (just like love). So, how do we tell the difference? Either time will tell or someone else will tell you. There will be an increasing emphasis on intimacy and commitment as the relationship progresses if it is truly love.
The hormones and the feeling of bonding may incorrectly inform us that we're in love, so you may need an unbiased opinion from someone else. This is why it is important not to be too intimate in the early part of your relationship. You will find it hard to distinguish whether you're falling in love or just enjoying the sex tremendously. Then you will certainly feel that "love is blind".
It is essential to ask yourself "what more there is to your interaction with my partner?". "Is there commitment and is our intimacy developing?". Or do we just have tons of sexual chemistry? Even though you may be biased about your answer, you will likely be aware that something is missing. It may be the deeper trust that comes with intimacy or the security that comes from commitment.
Just because you feel like ripping off each others' clothes does not indicate that it is lust. It could be romantic love (with high emphasis on passion) that could later morph to deeper levels of love. Removing clothes "with sighs and emotion" isn't evidence of love either. That could merely be controlled lust.
True love is balanced; in equilibrium even. It includes physical, emotional and spiritual bonding. It involves intimate sharing in all those spheres. Lust and lustful sex may feel like love for a while as a result of the oxytocin and other released chemicals. Even though love can make us feel "sprung" too, it encompasses several dimensions.
Keep the simple triangle of passion, intimacy and commitment in mind. You'll be able to tell the difference between love and lust. Further to that, you can determine the shape of your love and use it as a conceptual measure of whether your true love is in good shape, i.e. not unbalanced.
Learn more about this author, Darrell Victor.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:
We all have the basic idea that love and lust are different, but it is sometimes difficult to apply this knowledge. Writers
Your heart can play tricks on you. Sometimes what you feel for a person isn't exactly what you think it is.
Differentiating
by Terry Marsh
Love means never having to say you're sorry. Lust leads us into situations we're likely to sorry about.
Many times, the differences
Love or lust. Such a difficult decision but honestly, time will tell. Love is something that builds; as much as we want
Lust is often confused with love. If you have lustful feelings for a person, one would certainly hope that love is a part
View All Articles on:
How to tell if it's love or just lust
Add your voice
Know something about How to tell if it's love or just lust?
We want to hear your view.
Write now!
Featured Partner
Per Scholas is a non-profit organization dedicated to using technology to improve the lives of people in low-income c...more
hide