by Sammy Stein

Created on: December 08, 2008

I have a good friend who confided in me that her son has ADD or attention deficit disorder. What she did not know was that, as I was talking to her and she described her son's symptoms, some warning bells were going off in my head. She was describing herself.

Gay is very difficult unless you know her and she tends to get sidelined by some of our aquaintances - mainly those with little patience or who only see the superficial person and not the one underneath it all. Gay has obviously had social difficulties all her life and one of her children exhibited the same traits. He had little ability to concentrate and, although obviously clever,his mind woud switch from theme to theme at very rapid intervals. He found it difficult to socialise and was awkward socially. In school he made few friends and did not do very well in any subject apart from sport where he excelled. the school said he was rather lazy and often silly. However, his mother, being the knowing soul she is, had mother's intuition and took hm to her doctor who referred him to an educational phsycologist, who refered him to a child phsycologist, who diagnosed ADD. Finally, after years of suspecting and worry, Gay had her answer.

I for one, was so glad she persisted and that now her son would get the support he needed. I was also glad for another reason. Gay is lovely but she obviously does not fit what you might call the social norm. She flits from pillar to post, cannot concentrate for more than a minute or two, finds social events a nightmare and has few friends. Indeed to be her friend you need patience,a sort of sixth sense and always to be following what she says so you can remind her when she flits off subject. Her mind takes itself off and she cannot concentrate. Actually I like this in her and she is precious because of it but for many, they find her hard to fathom and so they do not bother. Poor them. Gay is as capable as them of caring and she can keep on track so long as she has regular nudges back to topic.

Her social difficulties due to her ADD however make her sad and she said to me that she does not know whay she finds it so hard.I think, after getting her son diagnosed that she now understands herself a little more.

She is also clever, funny and compassionate so I am pleased to call her my friend.

Yet I have worried about her and know she is lonely and that she senses there is 'something' which makes her a little different. Now we both know what it is. She has ADD like her son. She will realise it son I know and when she does ai really hope that she will recieve guidance andhelp just like her son. It makes no difference to me because she is who she is but I hope that getting a diagnosis for her son means she also can access the professionals to guide her and offer her support so she can cope with social groups and extend her cricle of friends. So long as she includes me I don't mind.

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