by Sage Doak

Created on: December 08, 2008

When I was a child, I was a very angry person. I broke windows and got in fights, including a stand-off against a teacher, threatening her with a chair over my head. Doctors gave my parents the option of using drugs to control my moods, as is common place today. My parents did not opt for that easy option, instead choosing to guide my behaviour though training which would provide me the tools to get a hold of my own anger.

Anger management needs to come in two different relating parts. These are short term strategies for when you feel the anger coming on, and long term strategies for preventing the buildup of anger. I will discuss short term options as these are most often what is needed immediately to prevent harm to friends, family, property and importantly yourself.

Often we feel powerless to control our anger, even though we can sense it building up, and may even know the cause. The first action you can take when you feel yourself becoming angry or getting annoyed is to remove yourself from the situation. A good excuse to be able to leave most situations which will be accepted without being rude is excusing yourself to go to the toilet/bathroom. Once in there give yourself all the time you need to gain control, if you can't do this naturally by yourself, that's okay and quite normal, just move on to one of the next strategies. If you find you can't remove yourself from the situation you can also try these next strategies.

Close your eyes and count. Instead of counting fast as your anger encourages you to do, count slowly visualizing each number in your mind. You may find that visualizing the numbers in colours like green or blue may add to the calming effect. Another thing you can do in your mind instead of counting is sing the lyrics of a song that makes you happy, again focusing on the lyrics. If you are in a situation where you have a drink (preferably non-alcoholic) or food, you can take a drink or pop a piece of food in your mouth but before swallowing taste the food/drink. See if in your own mind you can taste what it's made of, see if you can select out certain flavors. These may sound silly but that's okay, they all share a similar element distraction. By focusing your mind on something irrelevant to the stimulus that is annoying you, you give your mind the ability to move away from anger back into a neutral state.

Another thing you can try depending on the appropriateness is hugging. This may be either hugging the person upsetting you, hugging a friend/spouse/partner,

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