by Sarah Fortin

Created on: December 07, 2008

The Neighbour

That stupid man monkied things up again. I'll have to call one of those lawyer guys. I know what's best for us, those TV. Lawyers Cleaner and Buns. I sloshed my hands around on the coffee table beside my puke green reclining chair. I picked up the phone and put it to my ear.

"Hello is this the lawyer people for suing autos?"

"Yes, we're Celino and Burns, if that's what you mean. We help people who have been injured in auto accidents"

"Uh Yah you're the guys I want. I was in an auto accident you seeand um I was attacked buy an automated monkey. It kidnapped my hat."

The lady at the desk wasn't very nice. she hung up the phone. So I guess I'll just have to get it back myself.

I got up off my squashy chair and walked over to the door. I yanked it open and marched right across the street to my neighbour's house. I smashed my fist through his window causing it to shatter, and of course breaking my hand. It didn't really hurt too much. I guess I am too preoccupied to worry about such things. Anyway, I reached my hand through the hole and unlocked the door. There stood that automated monkey with his teeth gritted and his poopy underwear.

I screamed in the house for the inventor of the auto monkey. He came forth and was looking a little squirty.

"Your robot monkey stole something of mine and I want it back!"

"It is a real monkey, you moron!"

At that, the evil maker of evil monkeys slammed the door in my face. I am so mad now that I could just pee my pants and so I did. That'll teach him. But even after that lesson I still felt he hadn't learned enough.

I ran around to the side of his house and climbed up the grape vine. It wasn't very strong stuff, so I had to keep jumping from one vine to another to Keep from falling. I made my way up to a small window and smashed it with my elbow this time. While sliming through it I cut my chest and stomach to rat shit. That hurt. When I got in the room and stood up. I found on the dresser a red marker and one of the monkey man's baseball hats. So if they won't let me have my own hat, then I would just make one. I took the marker thing and coloured my baldhead red. Next I cut off the brim of the monkey mans hat and hot glued it on to the front of my head. That hurt a bit too!

I made some rope out of his bed sheet by shredding it. I walked down stairs where he was sitting in his own green soft cushy chair smoking his pipe. He looked so content having carried out his evil deeds and his conspiracies against me. I sneaklied up behind him being very careful not to creek the floor boards. Twisting the cloth in my hands. It felt so good to be finally getting this horrid man back for all the evils he had done to me. He even copied my reclining chair and put a coffee table beside it. That's when I defiantly knew he had been watching me.

I quickly pulled the rope around his neck. The pipe flew out of his mouth as I pulled tighter and tighter twisting the cloth. The shredded bed sheet I was using wasn't strong enough. It ripped, causing me to lose balance so I had to take a step back. The monkey robot man jumped up and faced me, after coughing his guts out, I guess his throat hurt. When he confronted me that just pissed me right off. I grabbed a standing floor lamp. The metal shaft on it felt cold in my hands. I swung it across; it hit him in the face smashing his cheekbone. He fell to the floor and I swung it at him again and again until his head was flat. Blood squirted up everywhere and all over me. I dropped the lamp and headed toward the front door. I saw the monkey in his cage, he had my hat. I reached in and snatched it off his head. I put it on top of the hat I made.

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