by AJ Lat

Created on: December 07, 2008

I have been the victim in the past of countless manipulative people and relationships but have learned to pay attention to how they make me feel physically and emotionally. They are crazy makers and drain me of the energy I need to handle other situations and people in my life...those that love, honor, and respect me.

While training to become a Life Coach I began to understand how to deal and or cope with these strong individuals. I say strong...but they are actually very weak human beings.

Number one you must realize that these people do nothing to enhance your life and begin to set healthy boundaries.When you begin to stand up to these people they will not like it one bit. If they start accusing you of being selfish, not caring, or having a bad attitude that is a BIG clue you are on the right track!

You may still have all those powerless feelings around these people at first, but in time when you set your boundaries they will get a big message to leave you alone. It may take weeks of standing up to them OR sometimes the best response to these interlopers is NO RESPONSE. When they realize they can no longer mess with you they will find someone else to be hypnotized by their selfish ways....and the best thing? you will ENJOY your days and feel so light not having to deal with these intruders : )

Some of these people are in your life on a daily basis, or family members...if so a good way to look at these trying relationships is to realize they are in your life to HEAL you of intimidation and lack of a healthy self image! When you flip your thinking like this it will help you operate with more ease around them.

Another good thing to realize that will help you so so much is; people who feel they must manipulate others to get their way are filled with fear. That is why they feel they must control everyone and everything in their path. Sometimes I have even asked them "What are you so afraid of?" That really throws them off balance and sometimes that question alone will cause them to never approach you again.

Just remember if you try to escape them by changing jobs, avoiding phone calls or contact ...believe me twenty more people just like them will come into your path. Why? Because I had to realize the issue was NOT them but ME! When I learned to deal with one...it was so much easier the next time another person with the same issues came my way. Now I rarely encounter these types BUT when I do I now know how to handle myself in a more healthy manner.

I always tell women who are in the midst of these situations to "put on your big girl panties" and tell them where to get off. For some reason that visual is fun and helps women gear up for the boundary setting!

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