by Scott Scherr

Created on: December 07, 2008

Hit and Run (a skit)

Scene:
(CLAIRE is watching her son descend a sledding slope (off stage right). She is standing on top of a hill in the park (center stage) and blowing into her hands to stay warm. FRANK enters (from stage left) to join Claire holding two cups of hot chocolate in his hands.)

Characters:
FRANK: Jeremy's overgrown kid-at-heart father.
CLAIRE: Frank's irritated wife and mother of Jeremy.

JEREMY: Frank and Claire's "smart alec" 13 year old son.

CLAIRE: (Taking a cup of hot chocolate) You're just in time to watch your crazy son being reckless.

FRANK: (Looking downhill) Yeah...Wow! Look at him go! He picked up more speed this time.

CLAIRE: (Rolling eyes) I don't know why you encourage him. Jeremy's going to get hurt one of these days.

FRANK: Oh come on Claire! You were a kid once weren't you?

CLAIRE: What's that supposed to mean?

FRANK: (Quickly changing the subject and pointing) Look, he's almost at the bottom. Those kids down there better move before-

CLAIRE: Why is Jeremy's sled changing direction? It looks like he's aiming right for those kids!

FRANK: (Speaking under his breath) Aw crap, I think it's the McCalister brothers.

CLAIRE: What was that?

FRANK: Nothing, nothing. I think it's too late now anyway.

CLAIRE: What is he- (She cups her mouth with both hands making a gasping sound) Jeremy just ran right into those kids!

FRANK: (Trying to hold back his laughter unsuccessfully) Yeah, he sure did!

CLAIRE: Why are you laughing?

FRANK: Did you see the air time on that last one before he hit the ground?

CLAIRE: You find this amusing?

FRANK: Well....sort of....yes....I mean....no? Hey, nobody got hurt, look those kids are already getting back up!

CLAIRE: (Shaking her head) Unbelievable! (She then yells downhill) Jeremy! Get up here!

JEREMY: (Enters stage right, carrying a sled and out of breath) Did you see that! I got all four of them in one swoop! Man, that felt good!

FRANK: Was it them? The McCalister boys?

JEREMY: Yep! Got both of them and their girlfriends. Bonus!

CLAIRE: Young man, after we get you home, we are going to talk about how you're going to apologize for what you've done! What have you got to say for yourself?

JEREMY: (Pausing to consider his answer, mockingly placing a finger under his chin) How about, twenty points a piece for those jerks and another fifteen for getting their girlfriends too.

FRANK: (Still trying to hold in his laughter) Jeremy...watch it.

JEREMY: Ok, ok, ten points then?

(Both Frank and Jeremy break out in laughter.)

CLAIRE: (Throwing her hands

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