by Roxanne Tracy

Created on: December 07, 2008

In reality, we probably all are experts on the useless personality trait of passive aggressiveness. We have entered into relationships that have drained us, demeaned us, and left us questioning our sanity. Relationships with passive aggressive people don't start with a disclaimer that the other person has a undesirable personality trait. Most of us probably did not even know that is what we were in until it was too late. Perhaps we entered into a relationship with the utmost sincerity. We gave our all, and then gave some more without receiving anything of sustenance and substance. At which point most of us got angry and tried to remove ourselves from the situation. Only to be cozied up to, apologized to and cajoled right back into the lovely cycle. It is unfortunate for those of us who have had to deal with the aftermath of our feelings once freed from the passive aggressive relationship. It is a hard but necessary lesson to have to turn to serious introspection to see how we got ourselves into our heartbroken state. I call this the "let's see just how guilty I am" phase.

Most of us (if we are lucky enough) eventually remove ourselves from relationships with passive aggressive persons. Most likely, it takes a fair amount of time to realize just what type of relationship we need to remove ourselves. When the realization comes that we just went to the fair and rode only one ride the entire time, and it was the one full of smoke and mirrors, we tend to blame ourselves for not finding the exit in time.

Well, that is the kicker about passive aggressive people. They are hard to identify, and when we do, it is usually too late. We have already been burned, lied to, manipulated, forgotten about, mistreated, ignored, only to end up resenting ourselves. Yes, I did dare say it! We blame ourselves, what irony! We wonder to ourselves how we let this happen. Did he not say he loved me? Forever? Didn't he just call and say he wanted to get together? Yeah, he did, and no, you did not. Get together that is. Then somehow, because you got mad, it is your entire fault. Because of you, his plans did not turn out. It was because of you, you were too pushy, and you would not let it go. Does any of this sound familiar? You and I both know, it was not because you were "being pushy", you just wanted to know when, where, what time. Oh my, the audacity you exhibited. Why, honey it is really your fault, if you just would not of... (Insert whatever it is, that YOU did).

The thing is, it is

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