by Carson Margedant

Created on: December 07, 2008

Yes blame genetics for the obesity epidemic. It is safe to say genetics will not introvert, pursue legal action or go on a psychotic rampage with an AR-15 modified to be a really terrible assault rifle. Genetics will stay the same regardless. However if you blame the obese, they have this annoying habit of getting depressed and eating more. Imagine that, someone reacting adversely to blame. If you blame fast food, they will take their billions of dollars, buy really expensive lawyers and spell out S-L-A-N-D-E-R in every court of law in this country. If you blame Congress, they will agree with you, promptly blame the previous year's roll call and adjourn for the summer. So let's all start making our double helix effigies , light the fires and just get this out of our system. Then let's do something crazy: FIX IT!

First, tax incentives for grocers that price lean meats, fruits and vegetables cheaper. Yes, this is blasphemous to the free market we so openly call ourselves, but that's alright because we're a democracy first and a capitalist paradise second. If we can make a salad that's cheaper than a big mac we will probably have many more salad eaters.

Then there is of course asthma and diabetes; the left, right combo of our society. Asthma knocks you down, while diabetes takes your feet. First you cure asthma, which is wear the baton passed to the Environmental Protection Agency. Regular tests of the chlorine levels of all public pools would go along way in fixing our cities breathing problem. For the country cured flavor regular checks of the methane and ammonia levels anywhere large congresses of cattle are held. This give you a little leeway on the diabetes but stop now. Now is the time to reinstate recess throughout the schools. While learning is good, packing children, (and worse) pre-teens and adolescents in small rooms for seven hours stretches can invite diabetes to rear it's ugly head much earlier.

Third let's get back to that son of an Augustinian pea farmer, Genetics. I recommend Greenland as a model of how to fix this. Let's put an end to ignorance of our pathogens. Let's map every willing citizen of the United States back as far as we can. Most genetic deficiencies are problematic due to our blindness of them. We may not have the money but then again we always work in theoretical money and maybe if we're actually good with this money our creditors will be more lenient.

All and all, I say blame genetics. It doesn't have feelings. Pretty sure, it can take it. However are bodies really can't so let's just fix it.

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