by Michael Patrick

Created on: December 07, 2008   Last Updated: December 18, 2008

First, what's satire? It's an argument using sarcasm and wit to expose and ridicule the folly of fools and knaves. Second, what's conflict? Are we talking World War III or whether Jill can drive the family car to the Junior Prom?

"What, me worry?" says Alfred E. Newman, the freckled icon of MAD magazine. Conflict exists when someone is foolish (or brave) enough to object. Let's get this into perspective: how much conflict is there at the executive lunch when the COO says the company's stock is in the toilet and big layoffs are coming? How many department heads choose to offer creative alternatives or speak up to protect their staffs, hmm? There's no conflict there, no, there is a sudden scramble to hide under the table lest he or she be the "last one standing" and singled out for the guillotine.

Conflict also exists when politicians are "conflicted" between protecting their expense accounts and promoting the needs of their constituencies. This one is easier; go for the expense account and damn the torpedoes. Hell, Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) was convicted of seven felonies and almost won reelection to the Senate in 2008. So, where's the conflict? Let's not be silly about priorities like public service and good of the citizenry when there's graft to take and contributions to the next election campaign to pocket.

I'll just bet that George "Dubya" (who looks suspiciously like Alfred E. Newman) still sees no conflict at all about starting a war in Iraq we couldn't afford while supervising the greatest transfer of wealth in history from 98% of Americans to the top 1% of the world's super-rich. Duh! He's on their "A" list for the best parties ever. No conflict there . . . priorities again. When you've seen him on TV, admittedly rarely, does he look worried? Nah, no conflict at all.

Our political representatives, those whom we elected because they promised to keep our best interests at heart, repeat the mantra: "We're just fine, just having a little stumble, here. Don't worry, just a little economic correction that, after all, is because you bought all those homes you couldn't afford. All you gotta do is max out your credit cards this Christmas and everything will be really cool. No conflict, don't worry, we have it all under control," while over two million of us have lost our jobs in 2008. No conflict at all, after all, CEOs still fly on their corporate jets, don't they? Things can't be all that bad.

Then there's conflict at home. That's where the rubber doesn't just

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