by J. Paxton

Created on: December 07, 2008

Growing up, I was always amazed at what parts of my life people found fascinating:

"You're left-handed?!" "You NATURALLY have blue eyes with brown hair?"

And of course: "You're an only child?" Then the up and down looks begin, as if I will suddenly transform into a spoiled little brat who has no social skills, or fulfill some other preconceived notions they've held in the back of their minds.

Growing up, I begged my mom and dad for another sibling, a ready made playmate. During the ever so stressful college application process, I muttered more than once that there was too much pressure put on me. When I moved away from home for the first time, my mom and I had an all out battle, based on the fact that I thought she was overprotective and tried to explain that it wasn't necessary for her to call and check in every day. However, as we all learned to adjust (and continue to), I am more able to see the benefits of being the only one carrying down the family name.

I've heard all the stereotypes growing up: spoiled, anti-social, unable to share, self-centered, etc. However, birth order or siblings has nothing to do with these qualities in an individual: it comes down to the parenting. My parents took great care to make sure that I would NOT fall into one of these categories. My mom and I would spend our days volunteering at the local hospital, something we would both continue to do for the next ten years. My father would bring home puzzles for both of us to do together, where our tradition became putting in the last piece together. These little, simple acts would help prepare me for entering into the "real world". I quickly came to learn that while I may be the most important person to my parents, that did not mean I was to the rest of the world. I can recall the few occasions that I did throw a tantrum over not getting what I wanted....and the strict lectures that would follow. My parents allowed me (no matter how much it worried them) to spread my wings bit by bit as I got older, from going away to summer camp, to backpacking through the mountains of North Carolina, to going to school out of state, to studying abroad in a foreign country. They let me live my life...with those helpful reminders along the way.

Now as a young woman, I still get a little laugh out of every time I hear: "YOU'RE an only child? I would never have guessed!", which is often hastily followed by, "I mean that as a compliment, of course". Of course. I'll make sure to pass it back on to my parents.

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