by M.

Created on: December 07, 2008

My mother-in-law, we were pretty close until my husband and I married. I never will know why she flipped on me but it was hurtful. Daisy, I called her Ms. Daisy, after becoming her daughter-in-law this title never changed. She never ever told me, you can call me Mom now. Ms. Daisy was diagnosed with brain cancer soon after my announcement of my miracle pregnancy. As I was dealing with my fourth pregnancy, Ms. Daisy was going through chemo, her health deteriorated. During some months we would both be in bed, me on bed-rest due to consistent contractions off and on until term and Ms. Daisy from nausea and weakness.

Ms. Daisy was a petite beautiful woman, who was married to a strong man, had four children, thirteen grandchildren and Toy and Tori her dogs. She was blunt with her speech, most of the time I felt that her bluntness was uncalled for. I still feel to this day that she didn't care much for me, but I do miss her. The cancer did go into remission, she started smoking and I became angry with her all over again. How does someone do that? You are granted a second chance and you just dismiss it. Selfish!

So the cancer returned. I did not get to see her too much but I just believed she was going to make it through this , that she was mean enough to beat cancer. She was not. The last time we saw her, my husband and I and the kids...she did not know who we were. Ms. Daisy was frail, bald-headed, and she looked like a little girl. I was 9 months pregnant. My Cesareanwas scheduled for October 25, we had a beautiful healthy baby boy and Ms. Daisy died October 26.

Difficult is not the word to describe this phase, I thought maybe bittersweet would be a better word. I'm on pain pills from the c-section, my hormones are raging because I need attention from my husband , who in-turn needs attention from me because his mom just died. Ms. Daisy has been dead for two years now and it feels like October 26, 2006.

I could not go to the funeral. I could not comfort my husband. My marriage has turned, mu husband is no longer my best friend. This road he is on is dark and bumpy. I can no longer go to the person who knows him best. My youngest son will never know his paternal grandparents. Is there a word that defines this? Grief, such a small word that can destroy a person's foundation.

We all have been changed, there is no closure. No one celebrates the memories. Family get together are non-exist ant. Everyone, everyone is hurting. Everyone is hurting everyone. Ms. Daisy, a mother.

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