by Allison Moore

Created on: December 07, 2008   Last Updated: June 25, 2009

I WAS overpowered by a numbness throughout my entire body. Barely standing,
I felt as though my legs would give out at any moment. My eyes were drawn to
people who were moving like actors in an old fashioned silent movie. Their lips
were moving but they were uttering stillness and quiet. A tug on my arm brought me
partially out of the fog I'd been experiencing. The feelings of cold metal on my

wrists and a constant clicking sound in my ear, led me out of the courtroom.
Just a few hours earlier,I strutted in with confidence, now I was being led
away, not so sure of myself. There was a sudden overcast of gloom, like a thick
dark cloud. I should have sensed it. You know the way it smells just before a
mid-summer rainstorm... how every one of your senses knows the storm is coming?
The winds begin to blow strong and the thunder begins to roll. Well, I
missed all the signs of the turbulence about to disrupt my life, and then,
without delay, the roof cracked wide open right inside the Chester County
Courthouse. I nodded slightly at my attorney. I knew what he was thinking. In
his professional opinion, the plea offered to me for a 12-36 month was better
than good. I should have accepted it when I had the chance. I gazed in
disbelief at my pastor. I knew what he was thinking. In his professional
opinion, the suggestion to contest the pre-sentence investigation may have been
an opportunity to catch the prosecution off guard. I was confused.

What really did just happen? I asked myself and was unable to
come up with an answer. Faith-the substance of things hoped for; the evidence
of things not yet seen. Over and over a voice echoed in my head. Faith was what
I had done; at least that is what I thought. Practice makes perfect right? I
confessed and believed, prayed and stood. Faith told me that my parking spot
right out front was only available because Faith was giving me easy access to
quickly leave the High Street court and have my Trailblazer on Route 202 in 2.5
seconds; then this would be all over. Faith said to refuse to prepare for the
worst and hope for the best. Faith insured me that those who trust in the Lord
will never be put to shame, but that's funny. Shame is what was crushing me.
Faith was dead wrong. My kids were expecting me to be at home when they go in
from school. My new boyfriend was at work expecting a text from me once I was
on my way. US Air was expecting me to check in at curbside in approximately 24
hours, and a group of anxious trainees were

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