by Adrianus Setiadi

Created on: December 06, 2008

Picture a person that has these criterias: charming, persuasive, knowledgeable, social, and very, very kind. This person has helped you without asking, flatter your quality, and usually, this person can tell others about his/her good deeds without appearing that he/she was showing off.

Many would imagine that if there was such a person, this person would be a perfect friend, co worker, or even business partner (I don't know about lover. That depends). In most cases, they would be. However, sometimes we just could not prevent several rotten apples among these people from affecting our lives.

Most of us have met these sorts. They are very kind to you, they flatter you, they make you feel better. And let's face it, humans have a need to be accepted, hence we usually fall easily for flattery. Then, just when we have trusted them with something valuable or personal, they betray us.

Oh yeah it hurts a lot when that happens. We could not believe that this person could do such a thing. We don't want to admit that we have made such bad judgment. Furthermore, if this person whom we deemed as "perfect" could betray us, then how can we trust anyone from then on?

I hate to sound so conventional, but time does heal and live does go on. I refuse to live my life hesitantly and then missing my chance of a truly great relationship. The existence of manipulative people is just a fact of life that we have to face. If every negative experience makes us to be hesitant, then we are not living our lives to the fullest.

I sometimes compare facing life with playing cards. If we are honest, we could not control what card we are dealt with, however, at most games, we can try to increase our chances of being lucky and minimize our risk of getting broke.

Aren't life just like that? We could not guarantee anything in life. Who can guarantee that the sun will rise tomorrow? No one! Who can guarantee that we can pay our bills next month? No one! Who can guarantee that any person would not betray us? The answer is similar: No one! Only God knows what, how, and when anything will happen! Not knowing are not a reason for not living!

However, just like playing cards, by relying on our common sense, facts, and learning from our and others' mistakes, we can increase our chances that we are surrounded by truly honest people. And if we by any chance got some of those rotten apples, we can minimize our losses next time.

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