by Donna Thacker

Created on: December 06, 2008

Tension runs high during the holiday season, even if things are going relatively well. In today's tough economy, people's stress levels are through the roof. That is especially true with family members as they watch each other struggling through financial hardships, sometimes being able to do little to help them.

When someone in your family is short tempered, or depressed during this holiday season, learn to sympathize instead of retaliating with your own verbal abuse. You are all going through the same thing, and it really is natural to "unload" on someone who is the closest to you.

When you feel like slinging your own verbal assault at someone, take a deep breath and ask yourself what you are so upset about. Are you really upset with this family member, or are you upset with the situation around you? People do need to vent, but remember to let that family member know that it's not them you are angry or upset with.

Calm your family down before the disagreement turns into a full blown fight. Ask them to stop and think about why they are irritable. Remind them that in these troubling times, families need to stick together, not turn on each other. Sit down with a cup of coffee or hot chocolate and talk about what is bothering each of you.

If someone is in fear of losing a job, as many are right now, discuss ways to help them out. If someone is really upset because they have no money for Christmas presents, gently remind them that a lot of others don't either. Let them know that it is alright and that you understand. Maybe you could even make an agreement that no one in your family will exchange presents this year. That will take the financial pressure off of some of them.

Do not serve alcohol at any of your family get togethers. You may think that everyone could use a drink about now, but adding alcohol to an already stressed group of people is asking for trouble. Besides, if everyone is worried about finances, why spend the extra money and add to the burden?

There is an old saying about turning the other cheek. This can be wisely used and followed this holiday season. Just remember that none of the ill tempers or harsh words are really directed at you, or any other family member. Stress levels are at an all time high, and some people have either lost their jobs or are in fear of doing so.

Realize too, that some people have no family members to turn to and are struggling it out alone. Be glad that you do have family and friends to listen to your problems. We are all in this together; let's try to make it as peaceful as possible. Happy Holidays.

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