by Elizabeth Fetkenhour

Created on: December 06, 2008

Peer pressure starts as soon as there is peer interaction. My daughter started pre-school and had to deal with the "dare you"

attitude from another pupil age four. She was put in time out the first time she decided to listen to the peer pressure and

and act out during quiet reading time. Gracie did not follow the teachers directions to, "sit still with eyes up here and mouth

closed tight." Gracie followed the boys directive to go and get a new car from the play area and bring it to the circle time and

play with the toy. Truly this seems like a small choice, to play with a toy from school, but it ended up with big consequences in

her four year old mind. First, she is a pleaser and a follower and that is genetic predisposition. Her following along

caused problems for her and then she placed the blame on John the young boy. That is peer pressure at a baby stage and is

perceived as harmless, but if Gracie lacks the discernment and does not take responsibility for her actions it will turn out to be

a large problem. After serving her time out and leaving the preschool Gracie stated, "that mean boy told me to do that and

then I got in all the trouble...Not fair." I had to bite my tongue and reply that she was the one who moved from the circle and

broke the rules. John didn't leave circle time; Gracie should have listened to the teacher. I wanted to say, "Yes, that

Johnny is the culprit!" but it would injure her in the long term to allow even the thought that she is not responsible for her

own actions to enter her mind.

I want my children to be able to discern what is right and when they do make errors, which they will, they take responsibility

for their actions. It is imperative that they take credit for their behaviors, and in later years, realize the actions/consequences

link. They have to realize that poor choices will end in punishment. It may be a toy car today, but a real car in ten years.

Gracie is told to just go and turn the key and take it for a joyride, since the key was left in the ignition and what is she

listens and is later placed under arrest. Our children have to have the self-esteem and early knowledge base to deflect

the escalating pressures that they will encounter. It is not a question of when will my children have to deal with peer pressure

but more a question of how will I prepare them as a loving parent to deal with the negative influences.

I have three tips to help with peer pressure: 1. Be aware of their friends and the childs natural disposition. As you know,

every

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