by Lynette Alice

Created on: December 06, 2008   Last Updated: March 10, 2009

To say the coming out process is confusing and gives rise to a slew of misconceptions is like saying a root canal is uncomfortable. Sure the statements are accurate, but they don't really convey the depth of truth each holds. The misconceptions about the coming out process are as varied as the people that are come out to. While the people being come out to are generally pretty good about the whole process they do often share some common quirks during it which are at times comical and at others pretty aggravating. Whichever they are it cannot be denied that sooner or later every gay person is going to encounter a few of these most common misconceptions about the coming out process.

Some twenty years ago a comedian named Dom Irrera did a skit about coming out that pretty much hit the nail on the head when it comes to how many people think of the coming out process. While the observation changed in his routine over the years the general gist of it went a bit like this: "What is turning gay? How does someone turn gay? Is it like some lumberjack went out in the morning and said 'today I'm going to go knock down some trees' and came back saying 'oh this place is a mess! It needs some curtains and candles!" It sounds silly but that's how a lot of people think it works. There are people that honestly believe a person wakes up and one day decides to just be gay, or that a person turns gay as if it were like the process a werewolf goes through. It's thinking like that which helps explain why when a person comes out there are so many confused thoughts about what coming out really means.

One of the most common things is to believe a gay person is instantly attracted to everyone of the same sex now that they are out of the closet. Imagine that for a second and consider if a heterosexual person is attracted to every person of the opposite sex. Of course we know that's not true but it is something I'm willing to bet every person coming out has dealt with. Almost invariably someone will say something along the lines of "well we're still going to be friends but you know I'm not like that." What makes it even funnier is that when the person is assured you aren't attracted to them "like that" they get a look of relief followed by brief, but perceptible disappointment.

Another misconception is that often times people will look back and replay every innocent moment of their history with the recently out person and look for some deep "gay secret" hidden within it. For some reason

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