by B. Stone

Created on: December 06, 2008   Last Updated: July 26, 2010

Any parent will tell you that his or her child means the world to him or her, that they want their child's happiness and well-being more than anything, more even then their own. Such devotion is truly a beautiful thing. Every child is fortunate to be loved so dearly. But the irony is that there is a danger of bad parenting in this mantra. If you, as the parent, sacrifice your own happiness, then you, unknowingly, are passing on that burden to your child. There is one universal rule to being a good parent:  to be a happy, whole person yourself. Whether you can offer them a small island, or only a bowl of rice, all that really counts is the love you are capable of giving. So slow down, don't worry, and enjoy the wonderful journey of parenting.

It sounds simple, love your child and love yourself. If you do that, everything else will follow, all the good stuff such as ice-skating, baking cookies, trips to the beach, cheering as they make their first soccer goal or hit that home run. And both of you are beaming with joy at each activity and every memory made. That's the tricky part. Doing everything we think we should for them, and still enjoying the process.

Sometimes as parents, we find ourselves rushing around, trying to fill in our children's schedules with endless activities. And there are plenty to be taken advantage of: piano lessons, swim team, drama club, scouts meeting, dance class.  We encourage signing up for everything that they might be interested in, because we believe these are opportunities. Maybe they are opportunities that we did not have as children. It is an honest attempt to enrich their lives.

 But, what ends up happening is that both the child and parent are running around, stressed out half the time, trying to fit everything in. Even the child doesn't get to enjoy all the games and concerts that they are signed up for, especially if their parent is snapping at them to pack their ballet slippers and their music scales book before they jump into the car to go to soccer practice.

When summer vacation comes around, it is met with a huge sigh of relief, until even the summer is jam packed with different camps and trips, so that not one week is spent drinking lemonade and drawing chalk murals on the sidewalk. If we, as parents, just slowed down, our kids could too. You'll find more joy in playing catch in the backyard together, watching a movie that you loved as a child, or curling up on the couch with mugs of hot

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