by Rob O'Hannon

Created on: December 05, 2008

I'll go to hell for writing things like this:
Discovery of giganANtic, prehistoric platypus - ohannonornithorhynchus gianatinus announced!
Long missing from the fossil records, and now newly discovered in the fossil beds of an ancient sea that once covered New Hampshire, the world was stunned today to learn of the discovery of a unknown species of tremendous size - a GIANT SEA GOING PLATYPUS - OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS.

Speaking on conditions of strict anonymity, the discovery of this amazingly great wonderful, surprising, and all important creature said "The discovery of GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS - OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS, a creature that ruled the seas from the Permian right up until the Iron Age, is of huge scientific importance, and will cause us to have to re-evaluate all we thought we knew about life on this planet."
Speaking from inside a scale model of the GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS - OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS, our anonymous source continued "This scale model is only 1/58 natural size, meaning that the real GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS - OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS would have been over 9 miles in length! And since the GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS - OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS was omnivorous, all the theories related to the extinction of dinosaurs and other species will have to be put aside as it is perfectly obvious that the GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS - OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS ate them all, in addition to sea dragons and mermaids!"
Leaving the model by the back door, the discoverer directed reporters to a huge pile of rocks that resembled platypus bills. "Now some will tell you that these are rocks that resemble platypus bills" he said, "but our test have proven beyond doubt that they are platypus bills that, due to fossilization, resemble rocks!"
Pointing to a nearby case he continued, "Some say that this is only the skull of fairly large platypus of today. Now watch what happens when you view it from behind this two-story magnifying glass. It becomes what is, the skull of a GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS - OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS! "
How the discovery of GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS - OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS will affect life science biological and change our understanding with regards to the origins and evolution of life on earth is anyone's guess. Will we unlock some of the very keys to

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