by Erin Allen

Created on: December 05, 2008

Guilt is the number one manipulators tool. It is the one powerful weapon that a manipulative personality can weild with such skill that it can kill any thing in its path with a vengeance. Self-esteem, reluctance, resistance...all of these fall before this weapon. But how do these people use it to its best advantage?

They know those they wish to manipulate. They are generally a person who we've trusted with everything, someone who knows us well. They know our weaknesses, our hopes and dreams, and use these same things to get us to do what they want.

Identifying a manipulator is difficult. Accepted social norms cannot always be relied upon. People who are of this distinction are not only female, they can be male as well. They don't come from any particular socio-economic class or have any particular career. They don't wear a particular brand of clothing or eat a particular food. They are just like everyone else, indistinguishable from any other person on the street. So how does one identify these people?

Guilt Trips

One way a manipulator will prey on those around them is through guilt trips. A guilt trip is a particularly cruel form of manipulation as it feeds on a person's inner demons. Everyone with a conscience is prone to taking the blame for something that is not really their fault. We all do it to some extent. For example, Grandma may fall down and break something. We blame ourselves by saying that if only we'd been there, it wouldn't have happened. This is untrue. She still might have fallen if we'd been there, but blaming someone seems to be human nature.

A manipulator knows this and uses this inner "blame game" to their advantage. "You are ungratful for all that I've given you. Is it so much to ask that you do this for me?" No matter what they ask us to do, our needs, our wants are never enough against their wants and needs. They want what they want and they want it like yesterday, and they will say anything and do anything to guilt us into doing it on their terms.

Tears

Tears are a woman's weapon. Most people seems helpless against tears. If a person is crying, then it must be pretty bad. The guilt part comes in then. Whatever they want, they'll get in an effort to stop the crying. This is a particularly powerful weapon used mostly by women. Not that men cannot employ this tactic, but women are more prone to it.

"If only you knew what I go through every day, you wouldn't be saying this to me. You would help me."

It always comes back to them. As if the world

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