by Jessica Kuzmier

Created on: December 05, 2008   Last Updated: December 14, 2011

Dealing with social conflict is one of the most essential jobs in our civilization. Without remedying the invariable dissension that is apt to come up amongst people with differing tastes and needs, no issue can be resolved, no project completed. No matter how much one may consider himself or herself a lone ranger, all people are interdependent on each other in some way or form, be it through commerce or public services such as sanitation. So resolving conflict is a good thing if people want to get things done.

One of the biggest problems in resolution is the feeling that one doesn't want to feel commandeered by the other. In other words, if I just agree with you without a fight, then I am telling you that any time you want to manipulate someone, come to me. No one wants to feel like he or she doesn't have a backbone. Additionally, a person may just believe the other is wrong. Dead wrong. And this person won't stand for the injustice. This can be over something as catastrophic as whether we should go to war with another country or not. Or it can be as mundane as whether to see the movie Twilight because one person thinks vampires are cool, the other disagreeing because she is creeped out by the whole genre. Either way, a debate ensues. Many times, personality conflicts come up, and blow up war games or movie night in a way not anticipated.

There are additional instances where prejudice might lead one to believe that things won't naturally be understood. The eternal debate over the differences between men and women is a case in point. If one walks into a situation and automatically assumes there will be some roadblock, say, assuming that men and women think so differently that they must be from different planets, then one might very well find himself or herself experiencing a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I automatically see you as other, and always will be other, the chance that we will find common ground will most likely be minimal. Conflict resolution suggests that we find a better way to approach our discussion.

The best way to find resolution is to seek a commonality. On the largest level possible, one could drop all the nonsense that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and instead realize all people come from Earth and start moving within the common humanity that runs through all people, regardless of gender or other demographics. Most people want respect, and their viewpoint valued. Learning to agree to disagree means that we don't have to convert

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