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It is true that attitudes towards sex have become more liberated in recent times. That fact is a double-edged sword that has merits and demerits. However, sex on the first date may not be a merit. More than that, the mere idea of it is not just pushing the envelope, but bursting it!

There are widely varying opinions about whether sex on the first date is appropriate. Some would say "no" while others would base their decision on the circumstances. A select few would shout on the roof tops that sex is the reason for dating (hopefully we never date those). The fundamental opposition to sex on the first date is that it corrupts the development of a healthy relationship.

The fact that a few people have had long-lasting and satisfying relationships despite having sex on the first date does not indicate that nothing is wrong with having sex on the first date. If we use that logic, we could also argue that if we overtake around corners a few times and get away, it's safe to do so. The merits of sex on the first date are quite limited.

i) You determine sexual compatibility and chemistry early

ii) It is just darn fun!

iii) You get something to talk about tomorrow

Perhaps I'm evidently biased in not arriving at more profound benefits of sex on the first date. I am aware that some people opine that sex on the first date "just happens". That doesn't look clever either. Something important as sex happens because we allow it to happen.

If you believe that sex is not important, then you're probably really missing out on it. It is suggested that we are susceptible to hormones or "tingly feelings". Repeated susceptibility to such is sometimes indicative of an instinctive, hedonistic approach to life that appears unsophisticated.

I'll provide some leeway by acknowledging that there are some first dates that take place after two people have been friends for a while. However, while being friends is a significant part of being lovers, sexual activity should not be rushed. Knowing your "friend" as a lover takes time. Listen to Percy Sledge and "Take time to know her" (or him).

When two people are together, they gradually want to progressively intimate as the relationship develops. Sex on the first date is a leap over the finish line that few daters survive. When sex is rushed, the pillars of a sound long-lasting relationship are often not given a chance to be built. Sex releases so many feel-good hormones, that we feel we're in love and get ridiculously blind. We are just naturally stoned!

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