Scene. The outer door opens up and the family steps into the cold garage.
FATHER. UNCLE FRED. SONS - LOUIS & WALTER, DAUGHTER EILEEN, HER FRIEND BETH.
Father: I know it's in here somewhere. I packed it away a long time ago... when we moved from the old house. Louis! Walter! look back behind those boxes. Eileen! Beth! Stay right over here. Just in case a possum or a raccoon snuck in here.
Beth: (Quietly to Eileen) Gross!
Eileen: (Whispers back) He's just kidding!
Louis: We have a sled in here? I don't remember seeing one.
Father: Sure! I remember I had it back against the back wall.
Beth: This garage stinks. It smells like gasoline and stuff.
Eileen: Not all of us can have a furnished garage, Beth.
Fred: Where does your old man keep his cars?
Beth: Under the heated carport.
Fred: I had to ask!
Walter: How can all of us go sledding with only one sled? Do we have to take turns like the time we made that go-cart? I never got a chance to drive it at all before Louis ran into the curb and got the tire rim all smashed up!
Father: (Still looking) Believe me! We all will get a ride on this baby! Even your Uncle Fred!
Beth: I don't like standing and waiting in the cold.
Father: There won't be much waiting. I promise. We just a climb up the hill and off we all go!
Eileen: We? You don't mean...
Walter: You mean... that is what we are looking for?
Louis: The Death Mobile?
Father: (Finding it) Here it is!
Beth: What is that? A piece of plywood?
Father: It's the old family toboggan!
Fred: It's been in our family for years! Oh, you kids don't know how much fun you have missed with this thing!
Walter: I thought we had a real sled this year.
Father: It is a real sled, Walter!
Louis: I agree. It's not that fun! You can't turn it. You get all scrunched up. And when you crash into something...
Beth: That's it! I'm going home!
Eileen: Wait! He's just kidding! It is fun!
Walter: Sure Beth! After the old men get tired of walking up and down the hill a few times, you can have your boyfriends carry it up for all of us.
Father: I don't remember getting that tired...
Fred: You have been putting a little on around the middle...
Father: Look at you? Where did your hairline go? You are beginning to look like Dad!
Fred: You could wear his jumbo suits now...
Louis: (To the adults) Kids! Kids! Stop fighting! Now go outside and gather up some kindling so we can take this diving board and use it to start a bonfire!
Father: We are taking it sledding, Louis!
Fred: What have you kids got against tobogganing?
Walter: (Indicates Louis) Like he said! It can't turn. It gets heavy climbing back up the hill after a couple times. And you have to get all scrunched up. (Indicates Uncle Fred) And I always end up behind him and he always toots.
Fred: What? I don't!
(They all stare at him silently)
Fred: Well! Don't worry! I haven't eaten a thing today!
Walter: Mom just made us all chili, Uncle Fred!
Beth: Well you guys go! I think I am just going to head home.
Eileen: Beth! I invited you here for the weekend! You are going to stay! And we are going sledding... tobogganing!
Louis: Ok! If Eileen is going... I'll go too!
Walter: You are going because Beth is going!
Louis: (Punches Walter in the arm. Then quietly) Shut up!
Father: Ok! Now that we are all decided.
Walter: I haven't decided!
Father: You have decided! Everyone grab a spot and we will carry Old Woody out to the car.
(They all hoist it over their heads)
Beth: Old Woody? Why not Old Musty?
Eileen: Save that for when you are sitting behind my Uncle Fred!
Beth: Gross!
Fred: I promise... only one per ride down the hill!
Kids: Gross!
Father: Off we go!
(They all walk off humming the castle guard tune from the Wizard of Oz)