by D. Victor

Created on: December 04, 2008   Last Updated: December 06, 2008

When the bond of friendship breaks it lends credence to the assertion that all good things come to an end. The dissonance created by this is apparent even though you may be the one who decides when and how to cut the tie with your friend. If you're left-brained, you may reason that you should end the friendship at a certain juncture. If you're right-brained, you may intuitively sense that you need to.

Intuition and reason merely help us pinpoint the many warning signs of a decaying friendship. Knowing when to cut the old branch off of our tree is only part of the issue. How you end the friendship implies a lot about you as it does about the friendship itself. Particular care must be exercised since "the bridge you burn today, you may need again".

You can itemise signals that dictate that you should end a friendship. However, you must acknowledge that some friendships may be able to overcome these. Wisdom and social intelligence is paramount here. However, you should usually end a friendship when:

i) You discover that your friend or your friendship was not what you thought it was

A fool's paradise is a great place to be- until the reality check. You may have thought that your friend was a genuine person, but turned out to have ulterior motives. This may alter the view of your friend and the friendship. If hindsight tells you that things were not as they seemed, end the friendship.

ii) Your friend betrays you

There is nothing worse than betrayal. The bond of trust is eroded along with other pillars of friendship. This is a major reason to cut ties, because a true friend would not deceive you.

iii) The friendship dims your reality

You may start to feel emotionally drained by a friendship. Perhaps your friend seems to you as a crutch, piggy bank or life support. Friendship is about sharing not just giving relentlessly or taking unabashedly.

iv) Circumstances change to render the friendship obsolete

Let's face it; some friendships are there for a season, or maybe just a summer. If the chemistry doesn't last beyond a specific period, you need not fight it just because.

v) Your friend unapologetically disrespects you

Friends care about each other. That includes feelings as well. Disrespect is a demonstration of insensitivity and apathy towards another. With a friend, this is a no-no. Even if your friend apologetically disrespects you -but does this repeatedly- it is time for the exit.

vi) Your friendship interferes with other aspects of your life

You have other activities and people

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