by Ali Mechelle

Created on: December 04, 2008

Adultery...falling out of love...boredom...lack of passion...these are just some of the reasons given as the cause of divorces around the world. But in all actuality, these are just the symptoms, not the actual problem. The real cause of divorce is the same thing that make these symptoms spring to life. The most frequent cause of divorce is the fact that divorce as a choice is more respected than marriage.

In a recent interview with Barbara Walters, movie star Will Smith said that the reason his marriage with Jada Pinkett Smith has lasted so long is that they feel divorce is not an option. If more people felt this way, they would not only take their marriages more seriously, they would spend more time considering whether or not they are ready to get married in the first place. In recent decades, divorce has become an easier thing to attain. This is not to say it's easier to go through, but in the past it was a much longer legal process. The disadvantage for our ancestors was that many couples felt compelled to endure marraiges that hurt them more than they helped them. The disadvantage for us today is that fewer couples feel compelled consider forever as an option before saying "I do."

At some point, most of us have either been in love or thought we were in love. These feelings tend to make us think that the object of our affection is someone we want to spend the rest of our lives with. But marriage is about more than love and love is about more than feelings. The problem is, too many of us do not know this. We are a generation of people who like to go with the flow or follow our hearts, without taking the time to consider consequences, ramifications, and possibilities when it comes to marriage. The reason we are this way is that we know one simple thing: if things don't work out, we can always leave.

If couples really want their marriages to last, both individuals considering a lifetime with one another must first ask themselves one important question: If there were no possibility of me ever getting a divorce, could I make it work with this person for the rest of my life? If the answer is no, then marriage should not be an option for that couple. But if the answer is yes, the couple must then decide if they are not only able to make it work, but determined to make it work.

If more couples considered these questions, the statistics on marriage and divorce would be much more different. Fewer couples would rush into marriage and the couples who did decide to get married would be better equipped to make their marriage not only last, but thrive.

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